“Rock Band never got anybody a date. Never.”

I try to write like the writers I admire – I rip them off in form. It comes from George Strait and Merle Haggard records, and country music in general is really good at that, the twisted phrase… So Im always looking for that angle in my own work.

I ruined my health drinking to other people’s.

The nice thing about the world that I’ve been able to inhabit for the last couple of years is that I’m given a lot of freedom. Not all artists really get that.

It comes down to building your own world out here on the road. It’s who you surround yourself with. My band and crew are really positive guys.

I get to cry to Barbara Walters, when things don’t go my way. I’ll get community service no matter which laws I break.

When they say you’re the best, I always remember that the majority of the audience probably thinks someone else should have gotten the award.

Someday I’m gonna be famous. Do I have talent, well, no. These days you really don’t need it.

Guitar playing isn’t really for everybody.

There ain’t a woman in the world that wants to hear the word yes when she asks if you think that she looks chubby in that dress. And if she cooks all day you better eat it with a smile; it doesn’t matter if it tastes just like bad gravy on a Goodyear tire.

I can fall in and out of love, have marriages that barely last a month. When they go down the drain, I’ll blame it on the fame.

My attitude is that if anybody of any age wants to read a book, let them, but I do think that no child would want to read Boneland.

Now on to reparative therapy, I think counseling is a wonderful tool for anybody regardless of what struggle they bring to the table.

I would have gone to the authorities, the FBI, the police, the Democratic (Party) anybody that would listen.

What is a snob? A snob is anybody who takes a small part of you and uses that to come to a complete vision of who you are. That is snobbery.

Anybody who cares about what he does takes risks.

Whenever I do a parody it’s not meant to make you hate anybody’s music really.

You don’t get to know anybody in a movie until after it’s over. You work less together in a film than you do onstage.

Chekhov was as important to me as anybody as a writer.