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You can tell how boring a person is by the lack of fear in their eyes when someone is flipping through photos on their phone.

Bill Murray

I act like a jerk sometimes.
BILL MURRAY

Act Jerks Like Sometimes
Take dead aim on the rich boys. Get them in the crosshairs and take them down. Just remember, they can buy anything but they can’t buy backbone. Don’t let them forget it. Thank you.
BILL MURRAY

Crosshairs Remember Take Thank
My back hurts. My legs ache. I’m only four!
BILL MURRAY

Four Hurt Legs
I was in the Virgin Islands once. I met a girl. We ate lobster, drank piña coladas. At sunset, we made love like sea otters. That was a pretty good day. Why couldn’t I get that day over and over and over?
BILL MURRAY

Day Girl Good Sunset
Well it’s hard to be yourself, it’s the hardest job there is.
BILL MURRAY

Being Hardest Jobs Yourself
The cool part about naming your kid is you don’t have to add six numbers to make sure the name is available.
BILL MURRAY

Kids Names Numbers
Grab this day by the neck and kiss it.
BILL MURRAY

Day Kissing Necks
The first year I had money, I really went shopping. I got really caught up in it. I bought all my brothers sets of luggage, and I bought ’em winter coats from Giorgio Armani – winter coats. And I got a pair of socks from this brother.
BILL MURRAY

Brother Winter Years
The money thing is, the sort of Elvis Presley thing of buying you mother car is great, that’s very good. My mother has learned how to spend money.
BILL MURRAY

Buying Car Mother
Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you’re donating blood.
BILL MURRAY

Blood Giving Inspirational
All of us kids ended up ‘doing Mom.’ There are four of us who’ve tried show business. Five if you insist on counting my sister the nun, who does liturgical dance.
BILL MURRAY

Dance Kids Mom
Afghanistan is just one of those countries that no group can conquer. It’s so challenging to live, and the people are so close among their own tribes, their own groups, that you can’t rule them all, you can’t get an accord from all of them.
BILL MURRAY

Challenge Country People
Sometimes I snore, like when I get really tired.
BILL MURRAY

Get Real Sometimes Tired
Zombies dont mess with other zombies.
BILL MURRAY

Mess Other Zombie
They are getting so much smoke blown, and their whole world gets so turned upside down, their responses become distorted. I give everybody a year or two to pull it together because, when it first happens, I know how it is.
BILL MURRAY

Distorted Everybody Response Smoke Together
There’s only a couple times when fame is ever helpful. Sometimes you can get into a restaurant where the kitchen is just closing.
BILL MURRAY

Couple Kids Kitchen

You can tell how boring a person is by the lack of fear in their eyes when someone is flipping through photos on their phone.

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You can tell how boring a person is by the lack of fear in their eyes when someone is flipping through photos on their phone.

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Popular Authors

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