“I don’t want to go to heaven. None of my friends are there.”

Whenever a man does a thoroughly stupid thing, it is always from the noblest motives.

The world is a stage and the play is badly cast.

Live! Live the wonderful life that is in you! Let nothing be lost upon you. Be always searching for new sensations. Be afraid of nothing.

Experience is merely the name men gave to their mistakes.

After a good dinner one can forgive anybody, even one’s own relations.

Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.

One should never trust a woman who tells one her real age. A woman who would tell one that would tell one anything.

I am not young enough to know everything.

Hear no evil, speak no evil, and you won’t be invited to cocktail parties.

Anybody can sympathise with the sufferings of a friend, but it requires a very fine nature to sympathise with a friend’s success.

To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.

Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.

The nicest feeling in the world is to do a good deed anonymously-and have somebody find out.

There is no sin except stupidity.

You can never be overdressed or overeducated.

Morality is simply the attitude we adopt towards people we personally dislike.

It’s a funny thing that when a man hasn’t anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.

Anything that is not funny at a certain point will be funny.

She’s the kind of girl who climbed the ladder of success wrong by wrong.

Mr. Bean’: Childish, anarchic behaviour will always be funny.

People can cry much easier than they can change.

What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say.

Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.

Sit, be still, and listen, because you’re drunk and we’re at the edge of the roof.