“You realize that no matter how much you punish yourself, you always seem to wake up the next day.”

I would change policy, bring back natural grass and nickel beer. Baseball is the belly-button of our society. Straighten out baseball, and you straighten out the rest of the world.

Pretty soon you’re convinced that you will never die. When that happens I guess it is time to look for help before your life becomes one long, lost weekend.

The most important question regarding Big Data at almost any company is: How much are your customers really worth?

You have only two hemispheres in your brain – a left and a right side. The left side controls the right side of your body and the right controls the left half. It’s a fact. Therefore, left-handers are the only people in their right minds.

I’m mad at Hank Aaron for deciding to play one more season. I threw him his last home run and thought I’d be remembered forever. Now, I’ll have to throw him another.

Alcohol is like anything else. It’s only as bad as the person it’s being poured into. If it’s used to heighten an occasion, or to take an edge off stress, I don’t see a problem.

The more self-centered and egotistical a guy is, the better ballplayer he’s going to be.

Smoking’s a way to let you down slowly from a ballgame. It also makes you use less of the resources around. It makes people better in the way they act towards society. Everybody’s nicer. It’s hard to be mean when you’re stoned.

You take a team with twenty-five assholes and I’ll show you a pennant. I’ll show you the New York Yankees.

It doesn’t really matter what chords I play, what words I say or time of day it is, as it’s only a Northern Song.

I’ve learned… that just one person saying to me, ‘You’ve made my day!’ makes my day.

Often the wicked prosper, while the righteous starve; yet I would never exchange my state for theirs, my virtue for their gold. For mine endures, while riches change their owner every day.

I grow old learning something new every day.

In every single day, in every walk of life, ordinary people do extraordinary things. Ordinary People accomplish Extraordinary things.

If you laugh, you think, and you cry, that’s a full day.

A day that I don’t learn something new is a wasted day.

Looking hard for a drive in, searching for a corner cafe, where the hamburgers sizzle on an open grill night and day.