“You know, when Sharpton and I walked in, it was, like, big commotion and everything, but everybody was very nice.”

Safety nets for the poor and disadvantaged are a must for any compassionate nation, but encouraging folks to go on the dole when not absolutely necessary is disgraceful.

Drive through a yellow light, and you may be ticketed thanks to a camera tied onto a pole. Everybody’s watching everything. And then sending it out to the world via email.

I don’t care about the Constitution! The Constitution isn’t here; you’re here. Don’t be a pinhead.

Yet, many of us in America stay far, far away from this topic. That in itself is a national scandal. Bad parenting is gravely harming this nation.

Each segment has to pay off, so you have to look at it in a very, very micro-level and make each chapter in the book, each segment on a TV show, entertaining and informative, and if you do that then a cumulative affect will be success.

Sociologists well understand that chaos at home causes violent behavior, educational failure and social alienation among children.

Whenever I go on a show with a comedian I just counter punch.

I think the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals abused its power all day long.

I would decriminalize marijuana, but you step out of your house high and you bother somebody else in any way, shape or form, I’m going to slap a fine on you that’s going to curl your hair!

I used to be a wicked disco guy.

When I die, I don’t want my demise to be used as a political rally, and that’s what happened yesterday.

Jobs that cannot be delivered must never be promised. It’s unfair to raise people’s hopes that way.

President Ted Cruz is going to send the feds to his house, take him out and put him on a plane.

Now everybody’s paying higher premiums and more deductibles that’s coming out of working people’s pockets and that’s one of the reasons that his legacy has been refuted.

They established their patriotic credentials long ago, and are either supportive of the Bush agenda or know when to keep their traps shut.

Tide comes in, tide goes out, you can’t explain it!

Women in music have the bigger balls anyhow we endure much more harassment and critic.

There are angels near you to guide you and protect you, if you would but invoke them. It is not later than we think, it is a bigger world than we think.

Remember, the Devil loves to make us focus on the little that’s wrong so we miss the big picture of all that’s right.

A hero is someone who has given his or her life to something bigger than oneself.

Think as big as you possibly can and base what you do, how you do it, and who you do it with on succeeding at that level. It just might take you more than your lifetime to run into the walls of a box this big.

I don’t make big grand gestures, generally.

I’m not that big, physically. I’m just big where it counts – I got a big heart!

If you believe in a God who controls the big things, you have to believe in a God who controls the little things. It is we, of course, to whom things look ‘little’ or ‘big’.