“You can handle just about anything that comes at you out on the road with a believable grin, common sense and whiskey.”

I don’t want to be that guy mumbling into his drink at a bar.

I used to get overwhelmed when I thought about everything there was to do, and I was exhausted much of the time.

And go to places that are hard to go to and hard to get out of. And if when you come back to JFK, when you land in JFK, and you’re still in love with that person, get married at the airport.

My first movie, I got nominated for a Canadian Oscar-for Meatballs. For MEATBALLS. And who am I up against? George C. Scott. So he wins the award and I stand up and go, ‘That’s it-let’s get the hell outta here.’

Golf was my first glimpse of comedy. I was a caddy when I was a kid. I was on the golf course rather than being in lessons, but I can play better now than I could then.

All parties are good.

People say I’m difficult and sometimes that’s a badge of honour.

People confuse friendship and relaxation. It’s incredibly important to be relaxed – you don’t have a chance if you’re not relaxed. So I try very hard to relax any kind of tension. But friendship is different.

In Japan, you have no idea what they are saying, and they can’t help you either. Nothing makes any sense. They’re very polite, but you feel like a joke is being played on you the entire time you’re there.

Nowadays, the scripts are just so much better, that you don’t have to feel that way. You feel like the script’s coming to you, you can just relax. You don’t have to drive the boat.

You can’t really control how people are going to feel about you; all you can really do is be yourself.

If I run into someone on the street, that’s one thing. But answering mail for a living? I like a job where you can play and act kind of goofy and have some fun.

The more relaxed you are, the better you are at everything: the better you are with your loved ones, the better you are with your enemies, the better you are at your job, the better you are with yourself.

Afghanistan is just one of those countries that no group can conquer. It’s so challenging to live, and the people are so close among their own tribes, their own groups, that you can’t rule them all, you can’t get an accord from all of them.

It’s all about chemistry. Talent alone won’t get it done.

We’re creating a TV show of Scrooge, starring Jamie Farr, with Buddy Hackett as Scrooge.

There is no such thing as bad whiskey. Some whiskeys just happen to be better than others. But a man shouldn’t fool with booze until he’s fifty; then he’s a damn fool if he doesn’t.

They say some of my stars drink whiskey, but I have found that ones who drink milkshakes don’t win many ball games.

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

Don’t give him another thought, baby girl. He wanted a cup of tea; you’re a shot of whiskey.

Suggested remedy for the common cold: A good gulp of whiskey at bedtime-it’s not very scientific, but it helps.

The whisky bears a grudge against the decanter.

I am not a hotel room I am home, I am not the whiskey you want I am the water you need, don’t come here with expectations and try to make a vacation out of me.

My thoughts are like whiskey – one shot and I’m left with a bitter taste in my mouth.