“My dad’s from there, and I have relatives there, but I don’t think I’ve been to Chicago since I was like 9.”

When I got to Saturday Night Live, it was a lot like going from pre-school to Harvard, and it took a long time to figure stuff out.

I can’t cook. I can barely make a bowl of cereal.

The best thing to do is to get out in front of an audience as much as you can, and learn from the experience.

Richard Grieco once asked for a bunch of M&M’s

Comedy is this weird thing. You have no idea why certain things work and other things don’t work.

I move out here, and next thing I know I’m 25, and the only thing I’ve heard is, ‘Can you get a coffee, can you hurry up with the thing, blah blah blah.’

My kids, they’re always embarrassed when my voice shows up in something.

The idea of a Chicago band that wanted to sing songs about California is really funny. Having never been to California.

I always felt better co-writing something – always co-writing. Because if I was the lead of it and it failed, then it failed on my own accord. I would say, “Well, I liked it or I screwed up. I take the hit on this one.”

It was nice doing something and hearing someone go, ‘Hey, you’re good at this.’

Growing up in Oklahoma, there wasn’t much to do. Play sports, do a lot of drugs, or read and watch movies, which is what I did.

I’m not a fan of the Eagles, but I’ve watched their documentary numerous times and everyone who’s watched it with me has sung along to the songs, much to my dismay.

If a guy doesn’t like a funny girl, something is wrong with him.

I really enjoyed playing Vinny Vedecci, the Italian talk show host. He was the first character I ever came up with where I gave him a name and a way of dressing.

I was into writing and directing. I was a bit of a reluctant actor. I would always ask friends to shoot or direct their movies, but then they’d want me to be in them.

All the stories have to do with emotion. Emotion is driving everything.

My dad was a bartender. My mom was a cashier, a maid and a stock clerk at K-Mart. They never made it big. They were never rich. And yet they were successful. Because just a few decades removed from hopelessness, they made possible for us all the things that had been impossible for them.

My mother had very humble beginnings – to put it mildly. Her dad built their home out of timber that he cut down on their land. No heat, no air-conditioning – ‘no foolishness,’ as he would call it.

My dad was never married. He was kind of a rolling stone. But he was never disrespectful. At the same time, even though he had women in his life when I was a kid, there wasn’t any consistency.

I think if I would have come home and told my dad that I was going to quit the team, I think he would have kicked me out of the house. I don’t think I’d have a place to stay.

This whole golf thing was so left field for us, as Polynesians, but he had a lot of knowledge about sports in general. My dad was a genius, really. He was an absolute genius.

I come from an ordinary family – my dad is a carpenter, a roof-maker – and we’ve always loved racing together.

My dad being not the greatest dad in the world has made me a better parent.

I want to be a superhero dad to where my kid feel like everything I do is nothing wrong.