When you see grown men near to tears because they’ve missed hitting a little white ball into a hole from three feet, it makes you laugh.
BILL MURRAYThe money thing is, the sort of Elvis Presley thing of buying you mother car is great, that’s very good. My mother has learned how to spend money.
More Bill Murray Quotes
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Alcohol is really just the liquid version of Photoshop.
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When I was a little kid playing baseball, my manager called me Sleepy. And only a few people, who know me from way, way back, call me that still. I used to drift off and that’s why they made me the catcher, so I wouldn’t fall asleep. That gift I have still.
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Rather than life just rolling over you, and you wake up and it’s Thursday, and what happened to Monday? Whatever the best part of my life has been, has been as a result of that remembering.
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I wanted to be a doctor once upon a time, but it turns out you’ve got to study, and that wasn’t going to happen. I had no idea what I was going to do. I had trouble holding jobs because they want you to be on time. That wasn’t going to work.
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Awards are meaningless to me, and I have nothing but disdain for anyone who actively campaigns to get one.
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Human sacrifice! Dogs and cats living together! Mass hysteria!
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There’s definitely a lot of trash that comes with the prize of being famous. It’s a nice gift, but there’s a lot of wrapping and paper and junk to cut through.
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I was at the New York Film Critics Circle Awards one year – they called me up when somebody canceled two days before the thing, and asked me to present some awards.
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I try to be available for life to happen to me. We’re in this life, and if you’re not available, the sort of ordinary time goes past and you didn’t live it. But if you’re available, life gets huge. You’re really living it.
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Golf was my first glimpse of comedy. I was a caddy when I was a kid. I was on the golf course rather than being in lessons, but I can play better now than I could then.
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Every moment that you share someone else’s pain, feel what they feel, makes you more human.
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The money thing is, the sort of Elvis Presley thing of buying you mother car is great, that’s very good. My mother has learned how to spend money.
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You know the theory of cell irritability? If you take an amoeba cell and poke it a thousand times, it will change and then re-form into its original shape. And then, the thousandth time you poke this amoeba.
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When the phone started ringing too many times, I had to take it back to what I can handle. I take my chances on a job or a person as opposed to a situation. I don’t like to have a situation placed over my head.
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Okay, let’s pick a date. Let’s plan this and make a party and get married.’ Take that person and travel around the world. Buy a plane ticket for the two of you to travel all around the world.
BILL MURRAY