“Stand-up is what I am; stand-up is what made me.”

I’m funny. I’m a comedian. I’m not a clown.

Making people laugh is what I’ve been doing since I was like four or five years old. I still have a lust, I still have a passion. I don’t care about how I look, I’m dedicated to the laughs.

I want people to say at the end of my day, you know, like I used to say about Sidney Poitier and James Cagney and Joan Crawford and Red Skelton and those guys and Bill Cosby. They did quality and substance. You always remember them.

The one thing about comedy, making it become a part of you, the audience loves it, because you become part of them.

People like rumors. They’re going to say things like, ‘You was at the club with Lil’ Kim, and you and Kanye West got into a fist fight.’ You can’t get upset. You’ve got to keep hope alive.

I want to play a villain – I can’t wait to play a villain.

I’m an ordinary guy with an extraordinary job.

I don’t ever watch myself. By watching, you try to perfect yourself, become a robot.

I want to do something that people can really say, ‘Hey, man, that was good, I’m proud of you, I’m proud of that.’ ‘Pride’ and ‘Transformers’ and things like that.

I’ve never been no superficial cat.

Comedy has been so good to me.

Whatever success I’ve had, I always like to top it.

I don’t care about how I look; I’m dedicated to the laughs. You know, I used to be a clown, so – my name was Smoothie the Clown. All the training I had, all my training is geared toward making people laugh, and I didn’t care about being cool.

Jerry Weintraub, the producer, might be a pain in the ass, but he really knows how to treat his actors.

I hate to compare anything, especially while I’m promoting. I feel that’s another disrespect, but ‘Ocean’s 13’ is the best movie I’ve ever done in my life. No question.

That’s the whole key to anything: Don’t be afraid to fail. And is not afraid to fail.

No statement should be believed because it is made by an authority.

I’ve never seen it in person and wouldn’t go even if you gave me tickets, because I made a promise to myself as a kid that I wouldn’t go until I played my way there.

If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.

Each generation should be made to bear the burden of its own wars, instead of carrying them on, at the expense of other generations.

I have made it a rule of my life to trust a man long after other people gave him up, but I don’t see how I can ever trust any human being again.

My dad being not the greatest dad in the world has made me a better parent.

Simply fantastic this circuit, and if you get 53 laps more, you appreciate it even more. It’s made by God’s hands.

If the boat started shaking, we stayed on course and didn’t lose focus. That made the difference.