“Rich apparel has strange virtues; it makes him that hath it without means esteemed for an excellent wit; he that enjoys it with means puts the world in remembrance of his means.”

A thankful man owes a courtesy ever; the unthankful but when he needs it.

Success hath made me wanton.

Poor worms, they hiss at me, whilst I at home Can be contented to applaud myself, . . . with joy To see how plump my bags are and my barns.

He threatens many that hath injured one.

Blueness doth express trueness.

Silence in woman is like speech in man.

Reader look, not on his picture but his book.

Well, I will scourge those apes, And to these courteous eyes oppose a mirror, As large as is the stage whereon we act; Where they shall see the time’s deformity Anatomised in every nerve, and sinew, With constant courage, and contempt of fear.

Where dost thou careless lie, Buried in ease and sloth? Knowledge that sleeps, doth die; And this security, It is the common moth, That eats on wits and arts, and oft destroys them both.

Language most shows a man, speak that I may see thee.

There is no doctrine will do good where nature is wanting.

Who will not judge him worthy to be robbed That sets his doors wide open to a thief, And shows the felon where his treasure lies?

Were Guilt is, Rage and Courage doth abound.

Cut Men’s throats with whisperings.

In small proportions we just beauties see; And in short measures, life may perfect be.

Very few men are wise by their own council, or learned by their own teaching. For he that was only taught by himself, had a fool for a master.

Nothing is impossible; there are ways that lead to everything, and if we had sufficient will we should always have sufficient means. It is often merely for an excuse that we say things are impossible.

Somebody the other day had a review, called me ‘America’s reprobate.’ And I don’t even know what that means, but I kinda like the way it sounds.

The way my brain processes information is quite odd. I mean, I have Attention Deficit Disorder and another learning disability I can’t even spell. I don’t even have a high school diploma. I’m smart, but you can’t prove it on paper.

How clever am I? I’m really quite clever. I mean, look, I’ve got a first-class degree from Oxford.

Just because a subject is serious doesn’t mean it doesn’t have plenty of absurdities.

Most of our faults are more pardonable than the means we use to conceal them.

I had become mean and stupid and deliberately hurtful because that is what is expected of restaurant critics. Of critics in general.

If this were the whole truth, we should, when entering into a new field, introduce only such quantities as can directly be observed, and formulate natural laws only by means of these quantities.