“France is the only place where you can make love in the afternoon without people hammering on your door.”

Love is next to Godliness with certain safeguards.

A woman asking ‘Am I good? Am I satisfied?’ is extremely selfish. The less women fuss about themselves, the less they talk to other women, the more they try to please their husbands, the happier the marriage is going to be.

After forty a woman has to choose between losing her figure or her face. My advice is to keep your face, and stay sitting down.

People don’t roll around naked in my books. I do allow them to go to bed if they’re married, but it’s all very wonderful and the moon beams.

I would love to employ a man, but how can I possibly give a man dictation from the bath?

I have always found women difficult. I don’t really understand them. To begin with, few women tell the truth.

The great majority of people in England and America are modest, decent and pure-minded and the amount of virgins in the world today is stupendous.

When you get past fifty, you have to decide whether to keep your face or your figure. I kept my face.

Every man has been brought up with the idea that decent women don’t pop in and out of bed; he has always been told by his mother that “nice girls don’t.” He finds, of course, when he gets older that this may be untrue-but only in a certain section of society.

The right diet directs sexual energy into the parts that matter.

A historical romance is the only kind of book where chastity really counts.

I’ll keep going till my face falls off.

Every woman dreams of love. When she is young she prays she will find it. When she is middle aged she hopes for it and when she is old she remembers it.

Among men, sex sometimes results in intimacy; among women, intimacy sometimes results in sex.

You become what you think. You are what you eat.

I always wear boot polish on my eyelashes, because I am a very emotional person and it doesn’t run when I cry.

I wrapped a towel around me and I opened the door, and then I splish, splash, I jumped back in the bath. Well, how was I to know there was a party going on?

The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love, instead, see all of us as one.

I just hope bluegrass entertainers take care of their music and take care of their fans. If you don’t practice, the man next door who is practicing will beat you.

Seth put his ear against the door. “I can’t hear anything.” “There are probably ten of them patiently waiting on the far side, ready to pounce.” Brownies are shrimps.

I write with a Uni-Ball Onyx Micropoint on nine-by-seven bound notebooks made by a Canadian company called Blueline. After I do a few drafts, I type up the poem on a Macintosh G3 and then send it out the door.

This building we’re in has doors and windows. If we close the doors and windows, we can’t get out.

Closed doors simply means God is protecting us from having not the best.

When listening to the sound material, we metamorphose the inside into an outside.