“Since I am not as stupid as my children believe I am, I had immediately realized this might be a ruse, but I was not at all averse to a confrontation. In fact, I had been hoping for some such thing.”

Husbands do not care to be contradicted. Indeed, I do not know anyone who does.

I’ve been reading ghost stories ever since I could read. I’m immensely curious about ghosts and UFOs and all that stuff, but I’m a very hard-headed person.

When men start talking about ‘honor’, there is sure to be trouble ahead.

There was no warning, not even a knock. The door flew open, and he forgot his present aches and pains in anticipation of what lay in store. The figure that stood in the door was not that of an enemy. It was worse. It was his mother.

In the silence I heard Bastet, who had retreated under the bed, carrying on a mumbling, profane monologue. (If you ask how I knew it was profane, I presume you have never owned a cat.)

Cats always pick the laps of the people who don’t like them.

Giving other people advice is one of the most irritating and useless activities known to man.

His masculinity was only too apparent

I am so tired of ruggedly handsome heroes. I don’t know too many ruggedly handsome people who are necessarily nice people. In fact, the beautiful people have a big handicap because they rely too much on their appearance and don’t bother to become interesting.

Many persons lead lives of crushing boredom.

It may take us a little longer to reach the summit, but never fear, we will get there!

Another dead body. Every year it is the same. Every year, another dead body.

But the dust! And the clutter! My housewifely and scholarly instincts were equally offended.

I don’t think she realized how much she cared for him, or he for her, until the end. Hasn’t someone said a woman may be known by the men who love her enough to die for her? (If they haven’t, I claim the credit myself.)

That’s maturity-when you realize that you’ve finally arrived at a state of ignorance as profound as your parents.

When emotion supersedes reason … gullibility must follow.