“The ridiculous is closer to life’s source than the sensible.”

You don’t know your ass from a hole in the ground, you know that?

There should be a connection between a man’s hairstyle and what matters to him in life.

But I feel vanity is a part of art and the non-vain are really non-artistic.

Sarcasm is the language of people whose emotions are dying.

But once you describe something, you destroy it.

I surrender to the Monster. What pleasure at last to give way to the strongest force in oneself.

Rocks are more co-operative than people.

Der, die, das, dem, den, des. German’s six ways of saying ‘the’, like six sexual positions you never knew existed. Hey, I just sprung a boner.

In our lifetimes, we can only know a small portion of what exists. The world is endless and its treasures are inexhaustible.

I shall listen to my heart and it shall save me. I shall listen to my heart and I’ll be free.

As a man I’d been a cool customer. As a woman I was a hot tamale.

Wind is what happens when air falls in love with itself.

I really don’t like talking about money. All I can say is that the Good Lord must have wanted me to have it.

Well, I say that the most important job you can possibly have is raising a child, and it needs to be treated that way. You have to show them, rather than just talk to them.

He’s the president. I’m the general. Unless I want to get impeached, I got to do what he says.

I’m fighting against becoming soft. That’s the worst thing you can say to a basketball player.

I don’t take anything personal. I just have a certain file in my head, so Earthlings must be careful with what they say.

If you come to me and say, ‘Hey look I’m a racist,’ or ‘I discriminate against blacks,’ or ‘I don’t like you because you’re African American.

I’m a cop, and cops talk. They called me the day he did it, but did you ever hear me say anything about it? I played ball, because that’s how I am. I’m true.

A pinch is a pinch. If you pinch my right nipple, I’m going to say, ‘ouch.’ If I pinch your right nipple, you’re going to say ‘ouch.’ A foul is a foul and a flagrant is a flagrant.