“Every genius I have met could be classified as crazy by most people. They possess the highest level of sanity that us people find difficult to understand and accept.”

The way you dress is the billboard that tells perceptive people how you feel about yourself.

All of the religions – with the exception of Tibetan Buddhism, which doesn’t believe in a heaven – teach that heaven is a better place. At the end of the program, I say that heaven is a place where you are happy. All of the religions have that in common.

People sinking into self-pity and depression are dreary, but they can’t get out of it by themselves. So every now and then, just sit there and listen, and listen, and listen. You’re paying your membership dues in the human race.

I think most working relationships could benefit by excluding personal matters from the office chatter.

If it’s a woman, it’s caustic; if it’s a man, it’s authoritative.

The hardest thing you will ever do is trust yourself.

politics … is the hottest, most dangerous subject in the land. It’s not only a conversation-wrecker, it’s a friendship-wrecker, a family-wrecker, a job-wrecker, a future-wrecker.

I was the kind nobody thought could make it. I had a funny Boston accent. I couldn’t pronounce my R’s. I wasn’t a beauty.

A man cannot be comfortable [or cannot be made comfortable] without his own approval.

Being a parent is tough. If you just want a wonderful little creature to love, you can get a puppy

[President Obama] made so many promises. We thought that he was going to be — I shouldn’t say this at Christmastime — but the next messiah.

The feeling is that Fidel Castro’s much bigger than he actually is.

I found it interesting that as people become more technically oriented all over the world, at the same time people are becoming increasingly spiritual. The success of the Da Vinci code – even though it was a great yawn – also showed people’s interest in religion.

Just do your job. Get in early. Stay late, and don’t complain. Fight the big fights.

Children are God’s way of punishing us for having sex.

First of all, the Jewish religion has a great deal in common with the Christian religion because, as Rabbi Gillman points out in the show, Christianity is based on Judaism. Christ was Jewish.