“Sometimes I think he’s the kind of friend that grownups call a ‘fair-weather friend.’ That means when everything’s going smoothly, he’s the best friend a guy could want. But as soon as something goes wrong…(he) sort of turns on you.”

Moving makes you feel all alone inside.

My senior year of high school, I was voted Wittiest. So, several years later, I decided to try my hand at writing humor to see if I could be witty enough to make some money.

A little glitter can turn your whole day around.

A stick or a stone only stings for a minute. A name seems to hurt forever.

The upside to grief is it takes away your appetite. When people say you look good they really mean it. Nature’s thoughtful that way.

I don’t really believe in pretending to be happy when you’re not. Mostly I believe that you should burden your friends with your problems.

I’m not actually sure I’m grown-up enough for grown-up books.

Even though sometimes you can control your anger, you can’t control your sadness.

I don’t even like clowns. Clowns are not normal people.

Sometimes grown ups don’t act their right old age

Can’t we be friends?’ I hate your guts, Frankovitch’ Can’t our guts be friends?

Society just has a way of inhibiting you, which is good and bad.

I happen to think that a book is of extraordinary value if it gives the reader nothing more than a smile or two. It’s perfectly okay to take a book, read it, have a good time, giggle and laugh – and turn off the TV. I love that.

When you’re in between dreams, you get to lean back and relax and stop trying so hard. Trying to be somebody, I mean. It’s not as exciting as being a television star, but it’s not that bad, either. You just have to learn to be satisfied with the way you are for a while. Not Forever. Just until you’re finished resting.

Our nannas are losers.

I’m so lazy as far as liking to get up, go to the office in my pajamas, get dressed about noon. And I hate flying. So I have this really laid-back, good lifestyle, and it’s hard to nudge me out of it.

But when I talk to people who are Darwinists or evolutionists and say, ‘Well, how did life begin’ – they’re… they don’t have an answer. I mean, they have an answer, but it’s a BS answer. It’s an answer that wouldn’t make sense to a small child.

Humility does not mean to think yourself less, but to less think of yourself.

A lie was something you told because you were mean or a coward. A story was something you made up out of something that might have happened. Only you didn’t tell it like it was, you told it like you thought it should have been.

I was hooked on writing. I mean, where else can you get paid for sticking your nose into somebody else’s business?

To me, technology was a means to an end to achieve the social justice goals, stronger democracy and more effective government that is the aim of what I do.

The most powerful presentations were based on legal precedents, especially Calvin’s Case (1608), which, it was claimed, proved on the authority of Coke and Bacon that subjects of the King are by no means necessarily subjects of Parliament.

There are all kinds of silences and each of them means a different thing. There is the silence that comes with morning in a forest, and this is different from the silence of a sleeping city.

Woo means the ability to entice someone or something to get what you want. My first solo album was called: All the Woo of the Universe, which was titled by George Clinton.