“And sometimes when you’re very mixed-up inside, you do things you know you shouldn’t do.”

Moving makes you feel all alone inside.

My senior year of high school, I was voted Wittiest. So, several years later, I decided to try my hand at writing humor to see if I could be witty enough to make some money.

A little glitter can turn your whole day around.

A stick or a stone only stings for a minute. A name seems to hurt forever.

The upside to grief is it takes away your appetite. When people say you look good they really mean it. Nature’s thoughtful that way.

I don’t really believe in pretending to be happy when you’re not. Mostly I believe that you should burden your friends with your problems.

I’m not actually sure I’m grown-up enough for grown-up books.

Even though sometimes you can control your anger, you can’t control your sadness.

I don’t even like clowns. Clowns are not normal people.

Sometimes grown ups don’t act their right old age

Can’t we be friends?’ I hate your guts, Frankovitch’ Can’t our guts be friends?

Society just has a way of inhibiting you, which is good and bad.

I happen to think that a book is of extraordinary value if it gives the reader nothing more than a smile or two. It’s perfectly okay to take a book, read it, have a good time, giggle and laugh – and turn off the TV. I love that.

When you’re in between dreams, you get to lean back and relax and stop trying so hard. Trying to be somebody, I mean. It’s not as exciting as being a television star, but it’s not that bad, either. You just have to learn to be satisfied with the way you are for a while. Not Forever. Just until you’re finished resting.

Our nannas are losers.

I’m so lazy as far as liking to get up, go to the office in my pajamas, get dressed about noon. And I hate flying. So I have this really laid-back, good lifestyle, and it’s hard to nudge me out of it.

I can come off as pretty arrogant, but it’s because I know I’m right.

I want it to be so that when No. 27 is out there, they don’t know what’s going on because I do it all.

I know I can act and it doesn’t matter where you come from.

I prepare myself well. I know what I can do before I go in. I’m always confident.

Jack Benny really liked my book. I know because he called me up from the library and told me.

Leave them wanting more and you know theyll call you back.

Know that it is good to work. Work with love and think of liking it when you do it.

The remarkable position in which we find ourselves is that we don’t actually know what we actually know.