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It’s a very good thing to teach kids to finish what they started in the sense of fulfilling their commitments.

Angela Duckworth

You know, the things that I want my own daughters to develop – the idea that we’re going to get there through rewards and punishments seems completely at odds with the idea of character itself.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Character Daughter Develop Idea Itself Punishment Reward Seem Thing
I will say that if my wildest dreams come true, I will, like, wake up one day, and I will be Carol Dweck, right? Because she is like everything I want to be.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Come Country Day Dream Everything Like One People Person True Want Wildest
I think the very idea of character, of developing not just grit, but empathy and curiosity, emotional intelligence.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

But Character Develop Emotion Empathy Idea Intelligence Think
I’m not a policy oriented person. I’m constrained to what I study. But educational policy has not yet taken adequate note of the whole child. Kids are not just their IQ or standardized test scores. It matters whether or not they show up, how hard they work.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Adequate Child Constrained Education Orientated Ote Person Policy Study Taken Whole
The most important thing parents can do, although it’s not the only thing they should do, is model the behavior they want from their kids.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Although Behaviour Do Important Kid Model Paren Thing
Gritty people train at the edge of their comfort zone. They zero in on one narrow aspect of their performance and set a stretch goal to improve it.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Comfort Gritty People Train End Zone
When people tell me I can’t do something, I have a visceral reflex to say, ‘Yes, I can.’
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Can People Reflex Say Something Tell Visceral
If you’re never able to tolerate a little bit of pain and discomfort, you’ll never get better.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Able Better Bit Discomfort never Pain Tolarte
I think the questions on the grit scale about not letting setbacks disappoint you, finishing what you begin, doing things with focus, I think that those are things I would aspire to or hope for for all our children.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Disappoint Finish Focus Girl Let Question Scare Setback Think
To me, the most shocking thing about grit is how little we know, how little science knows, about building it.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Building Girl Know Little Most Science Shock Thing
As our knees and hips and eyesight deteriorate, we become more dependable, less impulsive, kinder, and less moody.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Become Deteriorate Eyesight Hip Impulse Kinder Knee Less Moody More Our
Grit and self-control are related, but they’re not the same thing.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Control Grit Relate Same Self Thing
Negative feelings are typical of learning, and you shouldn’t feel like you’re stupid when you’re frustrated doing something. You might say to yourself, ‘I can’t do this,’ but you should say, ‘That’s great.’ That means you really have the potential to learn something there.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Facial Feel Feeling Frustrate Learn Like Negative Something Stupid Typical
Striving is exhausting. Sometimes I do say things like, ‘I wish I were not quite this driven to be excellent.’ It’s not a comfortable life. It’s not relaxed. I’m not relaxed as a person. I mean, I’m not unhappy. But… it’s the opposite of being comfortable.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Excellent Exhausting Life Quite Say Something Striving Thing Wish
During all my undergrad years and in high school, I was involved in tutoring and public service. At Harvard, I spent over 35 hours a week doing service. I was a Big Sister, I worked for the homeless, the elderly; it was the epicenter of my focus.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

College Country During High Involve Public School Service Titoting Undergrad Year
Maybe. But the reality is that our early interests are fragile, vaguely defined, and in need of energetic, years-long cultivation and refinement.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Cultivation Define Early Energetic Interest Maybe Need Refinement Vaguely

It’s a very good thing to teach kids to finish what they started in the sense of fulfilling their commitments.

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It’s a very good thing to teach kids to finish what they started in the sense of fulfilling their commitments.

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