When elites see a homeless person in the gutter, they assume he’s saving a parking place.
P. J. O'ROURKEBy the end of the 1950s, American cars were so reliable that their reliability went without saying even in car ads. Thousands of them bear testimony to this today, still running on the roads of Cuba though fueled with nationalized Venezuelan gasoline and maintained with spit and haywire.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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Each child is biologically required to have a mother. Fatherhood is a well-regarded theory, but motherhood is a fact.
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If you ask the government to solve all of your problems, it’s a bit like asking your wife to cook and clean, to raise the children, to hold down a second job to help with the family finances, to keep her parents happy and well and keep your parents happy and well, and to also – to do the lawn and clean the gutters.
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I had always thought of Egypt as a rather secular country. And I think it is, but people are quite observant of the strictures of Ramadan.
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When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.
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Liberals are always proposing perfectly insane ideas, laws that will make everybody happy, laws that will make everything right, make us live forever, and all be rich. Conservatives are never that stupid.
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Head lice have their own animal-rights group, or may as well. The National Pediculosis Association doesn’t exactly advocate letting lice live with dignity, but it does oppose pediculicidal treatments.
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You can’t get rid of poverty by giving people money.
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Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs.
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Adam Smith’s huge failure was the fact that he did not foresee the industrial revolution.
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Politics is the attempt to achieve power and prestige without merit.
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Woodstock had a tremendous impact on American artistic life.
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My dad died when I was young; my mom remarried with more haste than sense to a fellow… he wasn’t evil or anything, but he was worthless.
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I rarely meet a politician that I don’t like personally. They are generally well endowed with charm. Therein lies the danger.
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The importance of local governance may not be obvious to an America accustomed to treating city and state downfalls with doses of federal comeuppance. Sometimes there’s a reason for that – the Civil War. More often, all reasoning seems absent – No Child Left Behind.
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I don’t even know which end of a computer one is supposed to gaze into. I’ve never used a computer.
P. J. O'ROURKE






