“I’m whispering so that the media doesn’t hear me.”

I’ve always believed in the old-fashioned way: When you’ve got scoundrels in office, you vote ’em out.

Ronald Reagan was the greatest president of the twentieth century.

There’s a simple way to solve the crime problem: obey the law; punish those who do not.

The danger with mentioning names is that you hurt the feelings of people that you leave out.

It’s impossible to go through life not offending people. All you have to do is basically have an opinion on anything, and you’re gonna offend people.

It’s impossible to go through life not offending people. All you have to do is basically have an opinion on anything, and you’re gonna offend people.

Charity is willingly given from the heart.

Charity is willingly given from the heart.

Capitalism is always evaluated against dreams. Utopia is a dream. It doesn’t exist.

Capitalism is always evaluated against dreams. Utopia is a dream. It doesn’t exist.

It isn’t racist. It’s hardly even worth the tempest that has been made of it.

Nationalizing businesses, nationalizing banks, is not a solution for the democratic party, it’s the objective.

Most people’s historical perspective begins with the day of their birth.

You know why there’s a Second Amendment? In case the government fails to follow the first one.

You could afford your house without the government if it weren’t for the government.

Collective solutions to individual problems is very seductive. It’s how Obama gets elected, by the way.

I’d never buy my girl a watch… she’s already got a clock over the stove.

I keep sailing on in this middle passage. I am sailing into the wind and the dark. But I am doing my best to keep my boat steady and my sails full.

I keep sailing on in this middle passage. I am sailing into the wind and the dark. But I am doing my best to keep my boat steady and my sails full.

There is a syndrome in sports called ‘paralysis by analysis.’

Yeah Ernie, its called defense, I mean I wouldn’t know anything about it personally but I’ve heard about it through the grapevine.

My little computer said such a funny thing this morning.

What’s really funny about being National Youth Poet Laureate is that not everyone even knows it exists.

One fool can ask more questions in a minute than 12 wise men can answer in an hour.