Personally I ride a bicycle, travel by train and bus and campaign tirelessly for a car taxation system that will hammer ignorant, selfish, petty, fat, spoilt, stupid car abusers into giving up their addiction and walking.
GILES CORENThere is nothing wrong with getting a bus. Nothing in any way demeaning about boarding a huge smelly communal vehicle that will rumble noisily and very slowly in the vague direction of the place you need to get to and then dump you half a mile away in the freezing wind and rain.
More Giles Coren Quotes
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I used to be so angry. I think back to my early days as a critic in the late 1990s, and I blush.
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I sleep nine hours every night, I have a little nap after lunch, and, if I’m going out for dinner, I sneak in an extra one before I head out.
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It was fine for my Polish Ashkenazi forebears to live on dumplings and potatoes, because they laboured in the fields. But that diet is unsuitable for an urban lifestyle.
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As drivers desert the city I find myself clinging more and more to my father’s belief that a man without a car is not really a man.
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All I care about is that people who like me think I’m funny. I get on with writing pretty straight-down the line, old-fashioned stuff.
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I know more than most journalists. I know more than most columnists on big, important newspapers.
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How clever am I? I’m really quite clever. I mean, look, I’ve got a first-class degree from Oxford.
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I always feel quite Jewish but I used to deny it until I was in my twenties.
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I have a tailor now, I have a doctor, a wine merchant, a jeweller, a gardener, a cleaner, and a nanny. It was clearly ridiculous that I did not have a hairdresser. So I got one.
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Instant gratification is bringing this planet to its knees.
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People like me make modern life intolerable.
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When I write I inhabit a personality that is and is not me.
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Gentile smoked salmon is all… muscular and smells of smoke. It’s not very fatty. They don’t understand – smoked salmon should be almost spreadable! So you give them the real stuff and they can’t believe how delicious it is.
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I would go swaggering into restaurants in some ridiculous tramp disguise, challenging them to mistreat me, order the things I was least likely to enjoy, then hurl my plate aside in a fury and demand to see the manager.
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The good fortune of my life, which has been to turn those glittering nights into my job, all came from there.
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