Southern California is a nice place, if you could cut out the show-business cancer. It just keeps spreading.
P. J. O'ROURKEThere are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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The Communist bloc of old was a study in the failure of failure. Losers in the Soviet economy were the people at the end of the long lines for consumer goods. Worse losers were the people who had spent hours getting to the head of the line, only to be told that the goods were unavailable.
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The world is being run by irresponsible spoiled brats.
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Stupid is a great force in human affairs.
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The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore.
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Supposedly, summer vacation happens because that’s when the kids are home from school, although having the kids home from school is no vacation. And supposedly the kids are home from school because of some vestigial throwback to our agricultural past.
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Everybody in the Middle East wants to explain why they’re right.
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Some people think that welfare reform should have hurt Bill Clinton with black voters.
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America wasn’t founded so that we could all be better. America was founded so we could all be anything we damned well pleased.
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The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year’s Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you’re married to.
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The baby boomers’ politics have covered a wide band of silliness, from the Weather Underground to the Timothy McVeigh types. The great majority of us are well in the middle of that spectrum, but still, there’s been both leftie silliness and right-wing silliness.
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There is no virtue in compulsory government charity, and there is no virtue in advocating it. A politician who portrays himself as ‘caring’ and ‘sensitive’ because he wants to expand the government’s charitable programs is merely saying that he’s willing to try to do good with other people’s money.
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I’m old enough to remember when the air over American cities was a lot dirtier than it is now.
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I had always thought of Egypt as a rather secular country. And I think it is, but people are quite observant of the strictures of Ramadan.
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Ideology, politics and journalism, which luxuriate in failure, are impotent in the face of hope and joy.
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Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs.
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