Some people think that welfare reform should have hurt Bill Clinton with black voters.
P. J. O'ROURKEThere are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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The young are adept at learning, but even more adept at avoiding it.
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I’ve got a 1990 Porsche 911. It’s just a Carrera, a very simple, straightforward little thing that goes like stink. I love it.
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The weirder you’re going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person.
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The beauty of democracy is that an average, random, unremarkable citizen can lead it.
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I read good. I was an English major.
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Call a man ‘ignorant,’ and you have license to show the world your vast fund of knowledge and wise him up.
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No humorist is under any obligation to provide answers and probably if you were to delve into the literary history of humour it’s probably all about not providing answers because the humorist essentially says: this is the way things are.
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In its worse forms, conservatism is a matter of ‘I hate strangers and anything that’s different.’
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Arab-led Islamic fundamentalism destabilizes nations from Algeria to the Philippines.
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Whatever it is that the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government does it to somebody else. This is the idea behind foreign policy.
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Ending wars is very simple if you surrender.
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Richard Nixon was the best thing that ever happened to journalism. I mean this guy was wonderful. Just when you thought he could get no worse, he got worse.
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The people who despise America are the editors of the ‘New Statesman.’ Their green-card applications must have been turned down.
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Maybe climate change is a threat, and maybe climate change has been tarted up by climatologists trolling for research grant cash. It doesn’t matter.
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The problem in Afghanistan is really not so much land as water. It’s a dry country with ample amounts of water running through it, but not to good enough effect.
P. J. O'ROURKE