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My ideal world is, we’re there, we’re in the EU, trying to make it better.

Boris Johnson

It was the kind of blind, gulping, insensate greed that you associate with some milk-eyed creature in a volcanic fissure at the bottom of the Marianas Trench-an organism with no understanding of the existence, let alone the feelings, of other members of the ecosystem.
BORIS JOHNSON

Blind Creature Ecosystem Existence Kind Member
There is absolutely no one, apart from yourself, who can prevent you, in the middle of the night, from sneaking down to tidy up the edges of that hunk of cheese at the back of the fridge.
BORIS JOHNSON

Edge Night Prevent Sneak Yourself
It is easy to make promises – it is hard work to keep them.
BORIS JOHNSON

Easy Hard Promise Work
We celebrate the contribution of people who have come to this country to make it better.
BORIS JOHNSON

Better Celebration Contribution Country
I cant remember what my line on drugs is. Whats my line on drugs?
BORIS JOHNSON

Drug Lines Remember
The Geiger-counter of Olympomania is going to go zoink off the scale.
BORIS JOHNSON

Country Olympics People Scales
Our friends in America will be at the front of the queue for trade deals.
BORIS JOHNSON

Deal Friendship Queue Trade
If gay marriage was OK … then I saw no reason in principle why a union should not be consecrated between three men, as well as two men; or indeed three men and a dog.
BORIS JOHNSON

Dog Man Marriage Principle Relationship
I am supporting David Cameron purely out of cynical self-interest.
BORIS JOHNSON

Interest Myself Pure Support
It is said that the Queen has come to love the Commonwealth, partly because it supplies her with regular cheering crowds of flag-waving picaninnies; and one can imagine that Blair, twice victor abroad but enmired at home, is similarly seduced by foreign politeness.
BORIS JOHNSON

Cheer Fall Queens
Hitler showed the evil that could be done by the art of rhetoric. Churchill showed how it could help to save humanity.
BORIS JOHNSON

Art Evil Help Himself Humanity Save
I think it is going to be wonderful. I went to the Paralympics in Beijing and have seen how brilliant the sport is at first hand. People are going to love it. It is going to change people’s attitudes to Paralympians and it is going to be a great show.
BORIS JOHNSON

Attitude Sports Thinking
I dont see why people are so snooty about Channel Five. It has some respectable documentaries about the Second World War. It also devotes considerable airtime to investigations into lap-dancing, and other related and vital subjects
BORIS JOHNSON

Dancing People War
I have as much chance of becoming Prime Minister as of being decapitated by a frisbee or of finding Elvis.
BORIS JOHNSON

Becoming Chance Redneck
What Hitler did in his concentration camps was equalled if not exceeded in foulness by the Soviet gulags, forced starvation and pogroms.
BORIS JOHNSON

Forced Foulness Pogrom Soviet Starvation
My chances of being PM are about as good as the chances of finding Elvis on Mars, or my being reincarnated as an olive.
BORIS JOHNSON

Mars Olive Pms Trees

My ideal world is, we’re there, we’re in the EU, trying to make it better.

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My ideal world is, we’re there, we’re in the EU, trying to make it better.

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