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My chances of being PM are about as good as the chances of finding Elvis on Mars, or my being reincarnated as an olive.

Boris Johnson

My friends, as I have discovered myself, there are no disasters, only opportunities. And, indeed, opportunities for fresh disasters.
BORIS JOHNSON

Disaster Discover Friendship Myself Opportunity
As a Scot Gordon Brown will find it hard to convince people in England he should be prime minister.
BORIS JOHNSON

Country England People Prime
I think I was once given cocaine but I sneezed so it didn’t go up my nose. In fact, it may have been icing sugar.
BORIS JOHNSON

Betrayal Drugs Myself Sugar Thinking
But if people want to swim in the Thames, if they want to take their lives into their own hands, then they should be able to do so with all the freedom and exhilaration of our woad-painted ancestors.
BORIS JOHNSON

Hands People Swim
The volunteering spirit of Londoners is part of what makes this the best big city on earth.
BORIS JOHNSON

Cities Earth Volunteer
I have come to the conclusion that Tony Blair has finally gone mad … he made assertions that are so jaw-droppingly and breathtakingly at variance with reality that he surely needs professional psychiatric help.
BORIS JOHNSON

Mad Needs Reality
I think it is going to be wonderful. I went to the Paralympics in Beijing and have seen how brilliant the sport is at first hand. People are going to love it. It is going to change people’s attitudes to Paralympians and it is going to be a great show.
BORIS JOHNSON

Attitude Sports Thinking
My policy on cake is pro having it and pro eating it.
BORIS JOHNSON

Birthday Cake Dessert
Plus I think she can articulate what’s needed at the moment, which is a bit of an antidote to some of the gloom and negativity and misunderstanding about what the Brexit vote means.
BORIS JOHNSON

Misunderstanding Moment Negativity
What Hitler did in his concentration camps was equalled if not exceeded in foulness by the Soviet gulags, forced starvation and pogroms.
BORIS JOHNSON

Forced Foulness Pogrom Soviet Starvation
People are woefully underestimating this country and what it can achieve.
BORIS JOHNSON

Achievement Country People
Some people play the piano, some do Sudoku, some watch television, some people go out to dinner parties. I write books.
BORIS JOHNSON

Book People Play Watch
He is like some sherry-crazed old dowager who has lost the family silver at roulette, and who now decides to double up by betting the house as well.
BORIS JOHNSON

Decision Double Family Himself Lost
The only reason I wouldn’t go to some parts of New York is the real risk of meeting Donald Trump.
BORIS JOHNSON

Myself Reality Reason Risk
I cant remember what my line on drugs is. Whats my line on drugs?
BORIS JOHNSON

Drug Lines Remember
My speaking style was criticised by no less an authority than Arnold Schwarzenegger. It was a low moment, my friends, to have my rhetorical skills denounced by a monosyllabic Austrian cyborg.
BORIS JOHNSON

Criticism Low Moments Skills Style Talk

My chances of being PM are about as good as the chances of finding Elvis on Mars, or my being reincarnated as an olive.

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My chances of being PM are about as good as the chances of finding Elvis on Mars, or my being reincarnated as an olive.

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