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For 35 years I was a writer. I wrote a lot of jokes. Some of them weren’t funny. Some of them weren’t appropriate. Some of them were downright offensive. I understand that.

Al Franken

Call-time has renewed my faith in the need for public financing of elections. Call-time is where I as the candidate, sit in a room with my “call-time manager,” and a phone. Then I call people and ask them for money. For hours. Apparently, I’m really good at it.
AL FRANKEN

Ask Call Candidate Election Faith Finance Manage Money Need People Phone Public Renew Room Time
We basically had dinner every night while watching the news, and then we’d discuss it with our parents.
AL FRANKEN

Basically Dinner Discuss Every News Night Our Parent Watch
I mean, there is a part of the media that’s not the mainstream media. That’s Fox, that is ‘The Wall Street Journal’ editorial page.
AL FRANKEN

Channel Editorial Journal Mainstream Media Page Part
Today I will masterbate! Okay, that was a mistake. I should have written “Today I will masterbate–if I want to!
AL FRANKEN

Masturbate Mistake Okay Today Want Written
I might think they use a little bit too much oil; some people might think it’s a little dry. But the problem with al Qaeda is they want to kill us.
AL FRANKEN

Dry Kill Little might Much Person Problem Think Us Use
National security laws must protect national security. But they must also protect the public trust and preserve the ability of an informed electorate to hold its government to account.
AL FRANKEN

Account Electorate Government Inform Law Must National Preserve Protect Security Trust
If I put myself on the ballot and even 50 people voted for me, it’d be a travesty.
AL FRANKEN

Ballot Even Myself People Travesty Vote
It’s not preppies, cause I’m a preppie myself. I just don’t like homosexuals. If you ask me, they’re all homosexuals in the Pudding. Hey, I was glad when that Pudding homosexual got killed in Philadelphia.
AL FRANKEN

Her Homosexual Myself Philadelphia Preppy Pud
The news movement conservatives that are just laying out, slathering out the disinformation and the lies, as I discuss in my book, ‘Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them: A Fair and Balanced Look at the Right.’
AL FRANKEN

Balance Book Conservative Discuss Disinformation Fair Just Lay Lie Like Look Movement News Out Slather
When you live in New York, one of two things happen – you either become a New Yorker, or you feel more like the place you came from.
AL FRANKEN

Become Country Either Feel Happen Like More Place Thing Two
I want to reclaim ‘liberal.’ I’m a liberal, and I think most Americans are liberals.
AL FRANKEN

Country Liberal Most Reclaim Think Want
My spiritual life is… sometimes I have access to it and sometimes I don’t. When I do have access to it, it’s usually a sense of my understanding what the best course of action or the best thing for me to do.
AL FRANKEN

Access Life Mean Real Sometimes Spiritual
Our laws need to reflect the evolution of technology and the changing expectations of American society. This is why the Constitution is often called a “living” document.
AL FRANKEN

Change Country Evolution Expectation Law Meed Reflect Society Technology
Sometimes if I tell people, ‘I’m afraid that I’m really a fraud,’ or ‘I have a lot of self-doubt,’ they go.
AL FRANKEN

Afraid Doubt Fraud Go Lot People Self Sometimes Tell
I think if you’re going to do a movie about Reagan, you do it about the fact that he created the huge deficit.
AL FRANKEN

Arm Country Create Deficit Fact Go Huge Movie People Reagan Think
If you look at terrorists, they really have no sense of humor.
AL FRANKEN

Humor Look Really Sense Terrorist

For 35 years I was a writer. I wrote a lot of jokes. Some of them weren’t funny. Some of them weren’t appropriate. Some of them were downright offensive. I understand that.

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For 35 years I was a writer. I wrote a lot of jokes. Some of them weren’t funny. Some of them weren’t appropriate. Some of them were downright offensive. I understand that.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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