I have an audio stigmatism whereby I hear things wrong – I have audio illusions.
TOM WAITSI don’t have a drinking problem ‘Cept when I can’t get a drink.
More Tom Waits Quotes
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You can learn a lot about a woman by getting smashed with her.
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If you get far enough away you’ll be on your way back home.
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A gentleman is someone who can play the accordion, but doesn’t.
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The average person spends two weeks over their lifetime waiting for the traffic light to change.
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I’ll tell you all my secrets but I lie about my past.
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I don’t have a drinking problem ‘Cept when I can’t get a drink.
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The trick is to have a career and have a family. It’s like having two dogs that hate each other and you have to take them for a walk every night.
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Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends.
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I’ve lost my equilibrium, my car keys, and my pride.
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Did the devil make the world while God was sleeping?
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When you’re writing‚ you’re conjuring. It’s a ritual‚ and you need to be brave and respectful and sometimes get out of the way of whatever it is that you’re inviting into the room.
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I’m always looking for sounds that are pleasing at the time. The sound of a helicopter is really annoying until you’re drowning, and it’s there to rescue you. Then it sounds like music.
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My wife called me a mule. She once said, “I didn’t marry a man; I married a mule!” I kept thinking about it. It was in the back of my head. I think it makes a good title for an album.
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I’ve been riding on the crest of a slump lately.
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Arithmetic arithmetock Turn the hands back on the clock How does the ocean rock the boat? How did the razor find my throat? The only strings that hold me here Are tangled up around the pier.
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The big print giveth and the small print taketh away.
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Most of the things you absorb you will ultimately secrete.
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I’m not fighting for justice. I am not fighting for freedom. I am fighting for my life and another day in the world here.
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Mostly I straddle reality and the imagination. My reality needs imagination like a bulb needs a socket. My imagination needs reality like a blind man needs a cane.
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If people are a little nervous about approaching you at the market, it’s good. I’m not Chuckles The Clown. Or Bozo. I don’t cut the ribbon at the opening of markets. I don’t stand next to the mayor. Hit your baseball into my yard, and you’ll never see it again.
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I dunno when I started writing really. I was, like, filling out applications and stuff real early. Last name first, first name last, sex. ‘occasionally’ , stuff like that. Then I was writing letters, filling out forms, writing on bathroom walls.
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it ain’t no sin, to take off your skin and dance around in your bones
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I’m just trying to make a buck like everyone else.
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Not the kind of wheel you fall asleep at.
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I always had a great appreciation for jazz, but I’m a very pedestrian musician. I get by. I like to think that my main instrument is vocabulary.
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Never have your wallet with you onstage. It’s bad luck. You shouldn’t play the piano with money in your pocket. Play like you need the money.
TOM WAITS