“Sometimes my brain writes a check that reality can’t cash.”

Prayer doesn’t work because someone out there is listening, it works because someone in here is listening.

I’ve always thought something that makes you laugh, it makes you laugh because there’s a little bit of truth to it.

Gravity. It’s not just a good idea; it’s the law!

It’s a pointless delay that wrecks my pace – and mood.

I find that your basic Internet chat board is way too vitriolic for my taste.

There’s this group online that I frequent.

“I agree your results aren’t always right,” they’ll say, “but your methods are clearly showing that science is a re-creative process, and it’s an interesting process because it’s messy, and no other shows show that.”

My dignity and good television – they’ll never meet.

And I’ve concluded, after careful consideration, that this person keeping score is me.

My advice is keep your lips away from the spinning things.

Of course, I love tools. I also love arranging them, to the point where I came up with a name for my organizing metric: first-order retrievability.

I think the whole thing that Jamie [Hyneman] and I have in working together is that we are constantly simplifying each other’s designs,

Don’t work for fools. It’s not worth it.

Bad spellers of the world untie!

These are people from everywhere, from Lawrence Livermore and JPL and Sandia National Labs, the FBI, all over the place, real scientists who see what we’re doing, and they consistently thank us.

We’re allowed to explore the world at large on these things; the urban-legend aspect of it is just kind of an excuse.

Sometimes, it takes us a while to appreciate something new, something that might change us for the better.

I’m a mirror. If you’re cool with me, I’m cool with you, and the exchange starts. What you see is what you reflect. If you don’t like what you see, then you’ve done something. If I’m standoffish, that’s because you are.

I was talking about in slang, and it was something that people in the music business was not really privy to. They didn’t understand totally what I was saying or what I was talking about.

Sometimes it’s easy to have ideas, but somebody has to find a way to do it. Often those responsible for finding a way don’t have the idea.

Sometimes you want to have a very productive Saturday to feel that you are in control of your life, which of course you are not.

As a global citizen, I sometimes feel like denying my identity.

Sometimes life is a series of obstacles, a matter of putting one foot in front of the other.

If it is necessary sometimes to lie to others, it is always despicable to lie to oneself.