“Broadway – the great sluice that washes out the dust of the gold-mines of Gotham.”

There is this difference between the grief of youth and that of old age; youth’s burden is lightened by as much of it as another shares; old age may give and give, but the sorrow remains the same.

I’ve got some of my best yarns from park benches, lamp posts and newspaper stands.

This fair but pitiless city of Manhattan was without a soul its inhabitants were manikins moved by wires and springs.

He studied cities as women study their reflections.

There is one day that is ours. Thanksgiving Day is the one day that is purely American.

You can’t appreciate home till you’ve left it, money till it’s spent, your wife till she’s joined a woman’s club, nor Old Glory till you see it hanging on a broomstick on the shanty of a consul in a foreign town.

Each of us, when our day’s work is done, must seek our ideal, whether it be love or pinochle or lobster à la Newburg, or the sweet silence of the musty bookshelves.

History is bright and fiction dull with homely men who have charmed women.

Men to whom life had appeared as a reversible coat – seamy on both sides.

When a man begins to be hilarious in a sorrowful way you can bet a million that he is dyeing his hair.

He seemed to be made of sunshine and blood-red tissue and clear weather.

By nature and doctrines I am addicted to the habit of discovering choice places wherein to feed.

All great men have declared that they owe their sucess to the aid and encouragement of some brilliant woman.

A story with a moral appended is like the bill of a mosquito. It bores you, and then injects a stinging drop to irritate your conscience.

She plucked from my lapel the invisible strand of lint (the universal act of woman to proclaim ownership).

A good story is like a bitter pill, with the sugar coating inside of it.

If you really want your hair to look good, just don’t wash it for a day. That’s my secret.

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwards.

I’d rather go around in a good pair of jeans that you don’t wash every day, because they get more and more comfortable.

Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.

I thought, what’s going on? Did some whale get washed up to shore? So I stood up on the table to see what it was, and it was the director.

You know, it’s no accident that the great painters came from areas like Europe where there is a lot of clouds and rain, which begets color and subtle washes of tone.

These songs are old friends I have entertained myself with when I’m washing the dishes, driving to the store and walking down the aisles.

Where does rain come from? It comes from all the dirty water that evaporates from the earth, like urine and the water you throw out after washing your feet.