“Going to Starbucks for coffee is like going to prison for sex.”

Tell you what, if there were gays in the army ‘Saving Private Ryan’ would have been a hell of a lot shorter film.

Can we all just stop being dicks?!

The sun in my life, it is gone, it is gone

There is no way it would take gay men three hours to find Matt Damon.

You know you’re going to get it, but it’s going to be rough.

I’m sick of women telling other women what men want them to look like.

Human beings would split the atom and invent television, nylon, and instant coffee before they could figure out the age of their own planet.

Maybe…in a way, this coffee reminds me of something. Maybe…maybe only a philosopher or a mad man would make this connection, but it’s a little like life. I mean it’s powerful going down and that doesn’t even take into account the aftertaste, which really takes getting used to.

People always think that happiness is a faraway thing,” thought Francie, “something complicated and hard to get.

I ordered a coffee and a little something to eat and savored the warmth and dryness. Somewhere in the background Nat King Cole sang a perky tune. I watched the rain beat down on the road outside and told myself that one day this would be twenty years ago.

Most civilized lives are measured out with coffee spoons.

One day you are ordering coffee every morning and the next you can’t even order coffee without thinking about ordering theirs too.

The coffee is prepared in such a way that it makes those who drink it witty: at least there is not a single soul who, on quitting the house, does not believe himself four times wittier that when he entered it.

Coffee renders many foolish people temporarily capable of wise actions