“Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor.”

Coaches who shoot par in the summer are the guys I want on my schedule in the winter.

They wanted to buy out my contract, but I couldn’t make change for a $20, so they had to let me stay.

Damn referees, I’ll miss them less than anybody.

You always catch the wrong players.

The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.

If I make a set of rules, then a guy goes out and steals an airplane. He comes back and says, ‘It wasn’t in the rules.’

Hell no. When I die I want to be sick.

I don’t have any tricky plays. I’d rather have tricky players.

I don’t understand these new coaches who don’t drink. What do they do when they get beat?

Doctors bury their mistakes, but mine are still on scholarship.

You may be big in New York, but in Walters, Oklahoma, you’re nobody.

You mean in the state?

I’d rather be a football coach. That way you only lose eleven games a year.

We did have three go to the YMCA.

I didn’t want to be a big record mogul and all that stuff. I just wanted to write songs and make people laugh.

I was playing like a rugby league player with 14 rugby players.

This morning I was standing in the shower and thought how I was sick of losing and how it was about time I had a big game.

I was very nervous, excited, and happy to be given the opportunity to even be in the major leagues.

There’s a lot of disrespect in the major leagues. I believe that the disrespect in the major leagues is at a high rate and is really bad for the gam

So, who in the media is without sin among us? I am in the media and I am a major league sinner. I don’t know anyone except my wife who isn’t a big time sinner.

I have more critics than Hitler.

I don’t want to be a Major League coach.