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So I had this completely unrealistic idea of what America was — but I wanted to be there.

Aasif Mandvi

Statistically there is enough voter fraud to sway zero elections.
AASIF MANDVI

Election Statistically Voter Voter Fraud Zero
Bradford specifically there were a lot of Pakistanis there. Even today it has a very large Pakistani population.It was something that I experienced
AASIF MANDVI

Bradford Danger Home Kid Population School Something Specially Today
I know the Gospel according to Mark better than I know any sura in the Quran.
AASIF MANDVI

Better Gospel Know Mark Quran
This was in the ’70s and there was a lot of racism towards South Asians and there was a lot of hazing and bullying and racism that really probably shaped me in some way in terms of, like, wanting to get out of there.
AASIF MANDVI

Asian Bullying Hazing Racism South Toward Way
Now the bigots have to get creative. Good luck coming up with slurs for Chechens. Go back where you came from, Ushanka head.
AASIF MANDVI

Bigot Chechen Committee Creative Good Luck
I’ve always said I’m the worst representative of Muslim-Americans that’s ever existed, because I’ve been inside more bars than mosques.
AASIF MANDVI

Bar Existed Inside More Mosque Muslim
Of course the law’s not racist.
AASIF MANDVI

Course Law Racist Result
So I had this completely unrealistic idea of what America was — but I wanted to be there.
AASIF MANDVI

America Complete Idea Unrealistic Wanted
When I was 11 my friend’s mom made a peanut butter sandwich. I ate the sandwich and was like, ‘I’m never eating anything else again.’ And I still eat peanut butter every day. I would put peanut butter on a steak.
AASIF MANDVI

Ate Eating Friend Made Mom Peanut Butter Sandwich
Comedy can reach many more people than, say, a serious lecture on the topic. And comedy might just be the access point to reach people who want to be entertained and also learn something.
AASIF MANDVI

Access Comedy Feel Lecture People Serious Topic
I’m not really a food connoisseur.
AASIF MANDVI

Connoisseur Food Really
If people invited Muslims into their home every week by way of a TV show would go a long way to making people feel comfortable with Muslims and countering misconceptions about who we are. Plus, of course, that will make it easier for us to impose sharia law across America.
AASIF MANDVI

Comfortable Every Feel Home Long People Week
The artist never really has any control over the impact of his work. If he starts thinking about the impact of his work, then he becomes a lesser artist.
AASIF MANDVI

Artist Control Impact Over Thinking Work
I think Islam has been hijacked by the idea that all Muslims are terrorists; that Islam is about hate, about war, about jihad
AASIF MANDVI

Believe Hate Hijacked Idea Islam Jihad Muslim Terrorist War
If you don’t acknowledge differences, it’s as bad as stereotyping or reducing someone.
AASIF MANDVI

Acknowledge Bad Differences Stereotype Reducing Someone
From my parent’s generation the idea was not that marriage was about some kind of idealized, romantic love. It was a partnership. It’s about creating family. It’s about creating offspring.
AASIF MANDVI

Creating Generation Idea Ideas Marriage Parent Romantic Love

So I had this completely unrealistic idea of what America was — but I wanted to be there.

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So I had this completely unrealistic idea of what America was — but I wanted to be there.

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