“It is not necessary for the public to know whether I am joking or whether I am serious, just as it is not necessary for me to know it myself.”

I’m going to live forever. Geniuses don’t die.

The terrifying and edible beauty of Art Nouveau architecture.

You have to systematically create confusion, it sets creativity free. Everything that is contradictory creates life

The fact I myself do not understand what my paintings mean while I am painting them does not imply that they are meaningless.

I am making things that inspire me with a profound emotion and I am trying to paint them honestly.

I am the Don Quixote of unreality.

Do not strive to be a modern artist: it’s the one thing, unfortunately, you can’t help being.

I do not take drugs. I am drugs.

Sometimes I spit on my mother’s portrait for pleasure.

I shall be so brief that I have already finished.

Since man’s highest mission on earth is to spiritualize everything, it is his excrement in particular that needs it most.

Life is too short to remain unnoticed.

Geniuses must never die, the progress of mankind depends on us.

All of my knowledge, of both science and religion, I incorporate into the classical tradition of my painting.

Everything alters me, but nothing changes me.

Have no fear of perfection – you’ll never reach it.

For telling a good and incisive religious joke, you should be praised. For telling a bad one, you should be ridiculed and reviled. The idea that you could be prosecuted for the telling of either is quite fantastic.

Every Joke is a Tiny Revolution.

Every Joke is a Tiny Revolution.

Jokes? There are no jokes. The truth is the funniest joke of all.

There is a kind of happiness and wonder that makes you serious. It is too good to waste on jokes.

When you’re old enough to write a book for children, by then you’ll have become a grown up and have lost all your jokeyness. Unless you’re an undeveloped adult and still have an enormous amount of childishness in you.

I’m not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb – and I’m not blonde either.

The happiness and the joy that I see in the eyes of the children. They saved my life so I want to, give it back. I’m not joking.