“Some of you say religion makes people happy. So does laughing gas.”

Human action is governed largely by instinct and emotion.

The law is a horrible business.

I am not afraid of any god in the universe who would send me or any other man or woman to hell. If there were such a being, he would not be a god; he would be a devil.

I don’t like spinach, and I’m glad I don’t, because if I liked it I’d eat it, and I just hate it.

True patriotism hates injustice in its own land more than anywhere else.

The purpose of life is living. Men and women should get the most they can out of their lives.

Calvin Coolidge was the greatest man who ever came out of Plymouth Corner, Vermont.

Physical deformity, calls forth our charity. But the infinite misfortune of moral deformity calls forth nothing but hatred and vengeance.

I am sure of very little, and I shouldn’t be surprised if those things were wrong.

Scopes isn’t on trial; civilization is on trial.

Justice has nothing to do with what goes on in a courtroom; Justice is what comes out of a courtroom

Autobiography is never entirely true. No one can get the right perspective on himself. Every fact is colored by imagination and dream.

I do not believe in god because I do not believe in Mother Goose.

The first half of our lives are ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.

To think is to differ.

I knew that it is out of the question to have honest, economical government while a few are inordinately rich and the great mass of men are poor. In fact, it is to be doubted if anything really worthwhile can be done until there is a fairer distribution of wealth.

Delight in the little things.

For a film maker, an Oscar is like a Nobel Prize, you know. So I am very happy… delighted. There is nothing more after this. I cannot hope to get anything more prestigious.

One of the sweet things about pain and sorrow is that they show us how well we are loved, how much kindness there is in the world, and how easily we can make others happy in the same way when they need help and sympathy.

It contributes greatly towards a man’s moral and intellectual health, to be brought into habits of companionship with individuals unlike himself, who care little for his pursuits, and whose sphere and abilities he must go out of himself to appreciate.

The inward pleasure of imparting pleasure – that is the choicest of all.

Ecstasy is from the contemplation of things vaster than the individual and imperfectly seen perhaps, by all those that still live.

Everything is ecstasy inside. We just don’t know it because of our thinking-minds. But in our true blissful essence of mind it is known that everything is alright forever and forever and forever.

I pop men like pills to make me happy, but they all wear off in the end.