“I don’t just try to be funny.”

Mommy would never divorce Daddy. He’s just like one of the family.

I don’t just try to be funny.

Today is a gift of God, which is why we call it the present.

A hug is like a boomerang – you get it back right away.

Sometimes I get the feeling that I’m stranded in the wrong time where love is just a lyric in a children’s rhyme

I didn’t always spell my name Bil. My parents named me Bill, but when I started drawing cartoons on the wall, they knocked the ‘L’ out of me.

OF COURSE I’d like to be the ideal mother. But I’m too busy raising children.

Yesterday’s the past, tomorrow’s the future, but today is a gift. That’s why it’s called the present.

I think it’s a novelty for cartoon characters to cross over into another strip or panel occasionally.

On radio and television, magazines and the movies, you can’t tell what you’re going to get. When you look at the comic page, you can usually depend on something acceptable by the entire family.

Time goes by at such a pace,it’s funny how it’s easy to forget her face

God put Santa Claus on earth to remind us that Christmas is ‘sposed to be a happy time.

In Roslyn, Pennsylvania, we started our real-life family circus. They provided the inspiration for my cartoons. I provided the perspiration.

Oh simple thing, where have you gone? I’m getting old and I need something to rely on So tell me when you’re gonna let me in I’m getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

When I was in high school at Northeast Catholic in Philadelphia in the late ’30s, I found that drawing caricatures of the teachers and satirizing the events in the school, then having them published in our school magazine, got me some notoriety.

A peaceful home is as sacred a place as any chapel or cathedral.

I like my phone. My phone makes magic happen.

I was an only child and I had a mother and father who were just – there wasn’t a straight man in the house, and I mean that in a very nice way. They were fun, and we would laugh a lot.

When I was a kid in Houston, we were so poor we couldn’t afford the last 2 letters, so we called ourselves po’.

In my first video diary I explained my love for women who have a taste in carrots. Since then, I have received plenty of carrots. Now I also have a keen interest in women who like Lamborghinis.

It’s very funny that I’m being appreciated for my dance moves because when I was young, I was made fun of, as nobody thought I was able to dance.

I didn’t do school plays… I’ve never done a play in my life, actually. Not even a nativity. If I’d been in a school play, I’d probably have sneezed and messed everything up.

Our records, if you have a dark sense of humor, were funny, but our records weren’t about comedy. They were about protests, fantasy, confrontation and all that.

I will never give up on you, from a person who treats like crap is not sweet. It’s toxic and you gotta run!