“The downward spiral of Dumbness in America is about to hit a new low.”

Writing is the flip side of sex – it’s good only when it’s over.

I have no taste for either poverty or honest labor, so writing is the only recourse left for me.

So we shall let the reader answer this question for himself: who is the happier man, he who has braved the storm of life and lived or he who has stayed securely on shore and merely existed?

We cannot expect people to have respect for law and order until we teach respect to those we have entrusted to enforce those laws.

On some nights, I still believe that a car with the gas needle on empty can run about fifty more miles if you have the right music very loud on the radio.

As long as I’m learning something, I figure I’m OK – it’s a decent day.

For a loser, Vegas is the meanest town on earth.

Sex without love is as hollow and ridiculous as love without sex.

All we have to do is get out and vote, while it’s still legal, and we will wash those crooked warmongers out of the White House.

God’s mercy on you degenerate swine.

I damn well intend to keep on living the way I think I should.

Never fire a warning shot. It is a waste of ammunition.

I don’t see how you can respect yourself if you must look in the hearts and minds of others for your happiness.

Ah, lives there a man with soul so dead, who never to himself hath said As he hunched and rolled in his comfortable bed: To hell with the rent . . . I’ll drink instead!

An outlaw can be defined as somebody who lives outside the law, beyond the law and not necessarily against it.

As your attorney, it is my duty to inform you that it is not important that you understand what I’m doing or why you’re paying me so much money. What’s important is that you continue to do so.

I had rather be first in a village than second at Rome.

What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds.

America is going to be back. We’re going to be back in the game.

What this country needs is more unemployed politicians.

In Los Angeles, everyone is a star.

Whoever speaks of Europe is wrong: it is a geographical expression.

What America demands in her black champions is a brilliant, powerful body and a dull, bestial mind.

A country that does not know how to read and write is easy to deceive.