“Marrying an old bachelor is like buying second-hand furniture.”

Don’t say you don’t have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michaelangelo, Mother Teresa, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, and Albert Einstein.

Remember that creating a successful marriage is like farming: you have to start over again every morning.

Your mind can only hold one thought at a time. Make it a positive and constructive one.

A racehorse that consistently runs just a second faster than another horse is worth millions of dollars more. Be willing to give that extra effort that separates the winner from the one in second place.

Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye.

Our character is what we do when we think no one is looking.

No matter how hard you hug your money, it never hugs back.

Every person that you meet knows something you don’t; learn from them.

Improve your performance by improving your attitude.

Remember that no time is ever wasted that makes two people better friends.

Live and learn and pass it on.

Never forget the three powerful resources you always have available to you: love, prayer, and forgiveness.

Dishonesty is like a boomerang. About the time you think all is well, it hits you in the back of the head.

Become the kind of person who brightens a room just by entering it.

Life doesn’t come with an instruction book; that’s why we have fathers.

Believe in miracles but don’t depend on them.

I’m not a naturally funny man. I find that I can only be funny, if I become someone else.

Good wine is a necessity of life for me.

When I was little, my mother was funny with me, and I started to be charming and funny for her, and I learned that by being entertaining, you make a connection with another person.

Trust is hard to come by. That’s why my circle is small and tight. I’m kind of funny about making new friends.

Milk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer.

Why is the rum always gone.

I had sex with a prostitute when I was 21, I was so bad, she gave me a refund.

Sometimes I don’t feel like going to work but then I remember I was born cute not rich.