f I were a headmaster I would get rid of the history teacher and get a chocolate teacher instead.
ROALD DAHLBut there was one other thing that the grown-ups also knew, and it was this: that however small the chance might be of striking lucky, the chance is there. The chance had to be there.
More Roald Dahl Quotes
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I do have a blurred memory of sitting on the stairs and trying over and over again to tie one of my shoelaces, but that is all that comes back to me of school itself.
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If you are good life is good.
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The greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places.
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Grown ups are complicated creatures, full of quirks and secrets.
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I began to realize how simple life could be if one had a regular routine to follow with fixed hours, a fixed salary, and very little original thinking to do.
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Good writing is essentially rewriting.
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I am only 8 years old, I told myself. No little boy of 8 has ever murdered anyone. It’s not possible.
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Candy is dandy but liqueur is quicker.
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It is preferable to incur a mild punishment than to perform an onerous task.
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Never do anything by halves if you want to get away with it. Be outrageous. Go the whole hog. Make sure everything you do is so completely crazy it’s unbelievable.
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Two rights don’t equal a left.
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Careful those who fight with monsters, that they might become monsters themeselves.
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Having power is not nearly as important as what you choose to do with it.
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If I had my way, I’d remove January from the calendar altogether and have an extra July instead.
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Pain was something we were expected to endure. But I doubt very much if you would be entirely happy today if a doctor threw a towel in your face and jumped on you with a knife.
ROALD DAHL






