“Yeah Ernie, its called defense, I mean I wouldn’t know anything about it personally but I’ve heard about it through the grapevine.”

We don’t need refs, but I guess white guys need something to do.

The older I get, the faster I was.

Christian is going to be the strongest man in the NBA next year, because all he’s been doing all summer is carrying around the luggage for 11 guys.

Well, when I went off to college, the guys I used to hang with were pumping gas and voting Democrat. Today they’re still pumping gas and voting Democrat. Guess the Democrats didn’t do much for them.

Sometimes that light at the end of the tunnel is a train.

I’m really disturbed about the gay marriage thing. Because I think gay people should get married, cause it’s their own business. Because as a Black man, I think you’ve got to be against any form of discrimination.

Preseason is just a way to screw fans out of money.

Every time I think about changing a diaper, I run a little bit harder and a little bit faster to make sure I can afford a nanny until my daughter’s old enough to take care of that herself.

I’m not a role model. Just because I dunk a basketball doesn’t mean I should raise your kids.

If ifs were gifts, every day would be Christmas.

We’re just playing basketball. It’s not like we’re going out to have unprotected sex with Magic.

White folks are not going to come to see a bunch of guys with tattoos, with cornrows. I’m sorry, but anyone who thinks different, they’re stupid.

I think it sucks that in our country [the USA] there is such a double standard education-wise. Which part of the city you live in, or something like that, determines if you’ll be successful, and that’s not fair.

I don’t care what people think. people are stupid.

My message is simple: take control of your life.

There’s nobody you’d rather beat than your good friend.

I find very often that very ugly women have really handsome men and vice versa because they don’t have any competition. Sometimes handsome men have avoided me.

It’s funny. All you have to do is say something nobody understands and they’ll do practically anything you want them to.

There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God.

It’s funny about men and women. Men pay in cash to get them and pay in cash to get rid of them. Women pay emotionally coming and going. Neither has it easy.

The nicest veterans, the kindest and funniest ones, the ones who hated war the most, were the ones who’d really fought.

The worst thing to do is to die while reading LIFE magazine.

The club isn’t the best place to find a lover so the bar is where I go.

It’s funny how we say a person ‘made’ us when they actually broke us. Sort of like how I say ‘funny’ – but I actually mean sad.