“I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one’s wife happy. First, let her think she’s having her own way. And second, let her have it.”

If you’re I politics and you can’t tell when you walk into a room who’s for you and who’s against you, then you’re in the wrong line of work.

Yesterday is not ours to recover, but tomorrow is ours to win or lose.

Every man has a right to a Saturday night bath.

No member of our generation who wasn’t a Communist or a dropout in the thirties is worth a damn.

Republicans simply don’t know how to manage the economy.

When a person finds themselves predisposed to complaining about how little they are regarded by others, let them reflect how little they have contributed to the happiness of others.

There are no problems we cannot solve together, and very few that we can solve by ourselves.

Justice requires us to remember that when any citizen denies his fellow, saying, ‘His color is not mine,’ or ‘His beliefs are strange and different,’ in that moment he betrays America, though his forebears created this nation.

At the desk where I sit, I have learned one great truth. The answer for all our national problems – the answer for all the problems of the world – come to a single word. That word is “education.”

If we are to live together in peace, we must come to know each other better.

Democrats legislate; Republicans investigate.

We have talked long enough in this country about equal rights. It is time now to write the next chapter – and to write it in the books of law.

There is no issue of States’ rights or National rights. There is only the struggle for human rights.

Our understanding of how to live with one another is still far behind our knowledge of how to destroy one another.

I’ll have those n**gers voting Democratic for the next 200 years.

You know, doing what is right is easy. The problem is knowing what is right.

The story goes that a public sinner was excommunicated and forbidden entry to the church. He took his woes to God. ‘They won’t let me in, Lord, because I am a sinner.’ ‘What are you complaining about?’ said God. ‘They won’t let Me in either.

Nothing earth-shattering has happened in men’s fashion. How much can you do with men’s clothes?

My spirit animal probably like a turtle, because I have no concept of time.

I can ask for cigarettes in every language.

The only thing strong about the French Army is their damn body odor.

I change my mind so much I need two boyfriends and a girlfriend.

I would be a giraffe because I just want to experience what a sore throat and being a giraffe feels like. It would be really uncomfortable walking around in the Sahara and being like, ‘I really need, like, 15 lozenges for my giraffe body.’

Very well, I will marry you if you promise not to make me eat eggplant.