“You need to look like a lady at the Oscars. Otherwise, Joan Rivers will tear you apart. Then again, you aren’t really anyone till Joan Rivers tears you apart.”

I got my eye on you boy, and when I get my eye on something, it’s like search and destroy.

I don’t think there’s ever been anyone like me that’s lasted. And I’m going to keep on lasting.

I get half a million just to show up at parties. My life is, like, really, really fun.

When you’re in the public eye, it’s wrong to cheat on someone, unless you’re very careful. If you’re normal and no one’s going to know, then do it.

The only people you need in your life are the ones that prove they need you in theirs.

Life is too short to blend in.

I’m not like anybody else. I’m like an American princess.

I think I am a good role model, and a lot of mothers come up to me and they’re really happy, and I think if any girl follows their dreams then anything can happen to them.

I’m very scared to do it. What if I don’t come back? With the whole light-years thing, what if I come back 10,000 years later, and everyone I know is dead? I’ll be like, ‘Great. Now I have to start all over’.

The only rule is don’t be boring.

I don’t really think, I just walk.

Yes, I’ve kissed a lot of guys. I like to kiss, but that’s it. I don’t go home with anyone. I sleep with my animals, like my baby monkey, Brigitte Bardot.

I can’t stand black guys. I would never touch one. It’s gross.

No matter what a woman looks like, if she’s confident, she’s sexy.

I’m a really good person. I’m down to earth. I have a big heart. I have feelings. And I’m just like everybody else.

In these trying economic times, I believe the White House should have a minimalist touch: open floor plan, glass and steel, throw pillows, and an infinity pool.

It makes me think—what am I going to be like when I’m 65?

The best accessories a girl can have are her closest friends.

You know what they say, dress your best when you go to bed because you don’t know who you’ll see in your dreams.

I’ll be goddamned if I’m going to stay in a business where I have to get up earlier and earlier and it takes longer and longer for me to get in front of a camera.

I like my mug shot. I think I have a really great mug shot. It looks like a magazine shoot.

What happens inside always appears outside.

Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.

I thought I had a type but I don’t really have a type anymore. I just look for a girl who doesn’t take herself too seriously.