I once looked in the mirror at myself and noticed that, without a doubt, I am a sexy man. In fact, I don’t think I’ll ever get married…it just wouldn’t be fair for my spouse to catch me enjoying a look in the mirror more than having sex with her.
ZACH BRAFFI figure it this way – if a woman claims she didn’t want me to fudge her, then you already know she’s a liar. So what the hell’s the point of a trial, y’know?
More Zach Braff Quotes
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Now, I’m not going to be misquoted on this like I have numerous times before, so I’ll be quite clear. I’ve never said hitler was my hero, just that if he had focused on more than one race he would have had the right idea. Try to turn that one against me.
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I’d like to think that my scripts are more significant than maybe the Bible or the book that the Jews use, whatever it’s called. And that’s only when I’m having an off day.
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People keep asking me whether I’m going to vote for Obama or McCain in the election. But I’m like, why bother? There will never be another leader as good as he was.
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When I first moved to L.A., I thought about turning gay. Then I realized none of the guys I was interested in was good enough for me.
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Of course I don’t use my A-material, it doesn’t matter if they think I’m funny or not because they won’t be thinking anything pretty soon anyways, if you caych my drift.
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Well I can understand why men want it to be legal. Obviously they’re all hoping they might get to marry me someday. I hate to burst their bubble, but they should just give it up now. Zach Braff doesn’t sway that way, you know?
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I procrastinate so much and I get distracted by anything.
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It turns out Superman is weak to Kryptonite and horses.
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When I was told they wanted the show to be about doctors, I was a bit reluctant to sign on, you know? I thought, why have a show about doctors when we could have a show about the real heroes, you know, like me?
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I’m sure lots of actors and creative people go through this, where you have some weeks where it’s all going according to plan and some weeks where you’re super frustrated.
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Retarded kids are the best. When they ask for an autograph I just fake sign a picture and tell them that it’s in invisible ink and it will show up later. They totally buy it. It saves me a fortune in markers.
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So for front-runners we have a black and a woman. It’s like being made to choose between syphilis or having and old man crap on your face. I would do the country a favor and run myself but I couldn’t deprive Hollywood of me for 4 years.
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I really don’t give a care, I’m going to live for ever
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People ask me, ‘Did the fame come too fast? Do you ever wish for your old life?’ I always tell them that there’s nothing on earth better than being famous.
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If I had a billion dollars I would…oh wait…already do.
ZACH BRAFF