Sure the jews killed jesus, but the guy was an awful carpenter
ZACH BRAFFI have a great relationship with my parents. I have not been on lithium.
More Zach Braff Quotes
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I’m a busy guy; I just get a lot of people that sound like me to go out and visit them. They don’t know the difference and, let’s face it, they aren’t going to be paying to see my movies anytime soon.
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The problem with doing commercials is that the only thing good enough for me to sell is myself, and I stopped doing that once I kicked my coke habit.
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My co-stars aren’t bad actors, but they’re no Zach Braff.
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Well I can understand why men want it to be legal. Obviously they’re all hoping they might get to marry me someday. I hate to burst their bubble, but they should just give it up now. Zach Braff doesn’t sway that way, you know?
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I procrastinate so much and I get distracted by anything.
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I have a great relationship with my parents. I have not been on lithium.
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It’s always weird being the only white person in a group. It feels like everyone’s looking to me for guidance.
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Best movie ever?! Come on, my appearance on Arrested Development had more dynamics, realism and feel to it than the whole trilogy combined.
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Sometimes Sarah [Chalke] starts to talk about Iraq or whatever and she gets all excited, like I actually give a crap what she’s saying. Come on, she’s a woman. But still, it’s very cute.
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When you’re the director and the writer, you never have to remember your lines, and there’s no one to call you on it. On Garden State I did different lines on every take, just making crap up. And it was great each time.
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My job as an actor has inspired generations of children to become doctors. My job as a writer has opened up the minds of millions. My job as a director has produced masterpieces that will be taught in film school for ages.
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I once fisted two babies and then used the corpses as boxing gloves to fight off the grieving parents.
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I never really understood all the hype, until I got one of my own.
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Sure, it was terrible and all, but you have to ask yourself: If the whole city was flooded, why couldn’t they just swim to safety?
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If a benevolent God exists, so does reincarnation. He wouldn’t send me here just once.
ZACH BRAFF