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I once looked in the mirror at myself and noticed that, without a doubt, I am a sexy man. In fact, I don’t think I’ll ever get married…it just wouldn’t be fair for my spouse to catch me enjoying a look in the mirror more than having sex with her.

Zach Braff

Whenever I’m feeling a bit down, I always visit the local children’s hospital. Knowing that those cancer-kids wont be able to live long enough to surpass me in fame just warms my heart, you know?
ZACH BRAFF

Cancer Children Heart
I donno, it’s not impressive. Once I put ear plugs in and put a blind fold on for like 14 minutes and I did just fine.
ZACH BRAFF

Blind Ear Plugs
If I had a billion dollars I would…oh wait…already do.
ZACH BRAFF

Billion Dollar Waiting
The success of ‘Scrubs’ allowed me to pursue anything I felt passionately about without having to worry about money. It allowed me to spend my summer work shopping my show at a nonprofit theater.
ZACH BRAFF

Shopping Summer Worry
If a benevolent God exists, so does reincarnation. He wouldn’t send me here just once.
ZACH BRAFF

Doe Exist God Reincarnation
I have a great relationship with my parents. I have not been on lithium.
ZACH BRAFF

Great Lithium Parent Relationship
It’s always weird being the only white person in a group. It feels like everyone’s looking to me for guidance.
ZACH BRAFF

Group Guidance White
I once fisted two babies and then used the corpses as boxing gloves to fight off the grieving parents.
ZACH BRAFF

Baby Fighting Grieving
I’m sure lots of actors and creative people go through this, where you have some weeks where it’s all going according to plan and some weeks where you’re super frustrated.
ZACH BRAFF

Creative Frustrated People
You always see black people complaining about this and that, but you never see me complaining about how slow they work on my plantation.
ZACH BRAFF

Black Complaining People
I once looked in the mirror at myself and noticed that, without a doubt, I am a sexy man. In fact, I don’t think I’ll ever get married…it just wouldn’t be fair for my spouse to catch me enjoying a look in the mirror more than having sex with her.
ZACH BRAFF

Doubt Men Mirror Sexy Thinking
I procrastinate so much and I get distracted by anything.
ZACH BRAFF

Anything Distracted Procrastinating
The problem with doing commercials is that the only thing good enough for me to sell is myself, and I stopped doing that once I kicked my coke habit.
ZACH BRAFF

Coke Enough Good Problem
So for front-runners we have a black and a woman. It’s like being made to choose between syphilis or having and old man crap on your face. I would do the country a favor and run myself but I couldn’t deprive Hollywood of me for 4 years.
ZACH BRAFF

Country Men Running
My job as an actor has inspired generations of children to become doctors. My job as a writer has opened up the minds of millions. My job as a director has produced masterpieces that will be taught in film school for ages.
ZACH BRAFF

Children Job School
When you’re the director and the writer, you never have to remember your lines, and there’s no one to call you on it. On Garden State I did different lines on every take, just making crap up. And it was great each time.
ZACH BRAFF

Directors Garden Line

I once looked in the mirror at myself and noticed that, without a doubt, I am a sexy man. In fact, I don’t think I’ll ever get married…it just wouldn’t be fair for my spouse to catch me enjoying a look in the mirror more than having sex with her.

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I once looked in the mirror at myself and noticed that, without a doubt, I am a sexy man. In fact, I don’t think I’ll ever get married…it just wouldn’t be fair for my spouse to catch me enjoying a look in the mirror more than having sex with her.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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