I once fisted two babies and then used the corpses as boxing gloves to fight off the grieving parents.
ZACH BRAFFI once fisted two babies and then used the corpses as boxing gloves to fight off the grieving parents.
ZACH BRAFFYou always see black people complaining about this and that, but you never see me complaining about how slow they work on my plantation.
ZACH BRAFFWhen I was told they wanted the show to be about doctors, I was a bit reluctant to sign on, you know? I thought, why have a show about doctors when we could have a show about the real heroes, you know, like me?
ZACH BRAFFIf a benevolent God exists, so does reincarnation. He wouldn’t send me here just once.
ZACH BRAFFIf I could change anything about Garden State, it would be to cast somebody else for the female lead. Natalie just isn’t really that good of an actress. Especially when compared to me. Just watch the two of us, it’s light and dark. I am by far the better Jew.
ZACH BRAFFIt’s… it’s such a weird thing. After Garden State, so many companies wanted to make my movies, and after The Last Kiss, I realized people would make anything I was in. As long as I keep this up I’ll be swimming in chubby indie girl pussy.
ZACH BRAFFIt turns out Superman is weak to Kryptonite and horses.
ZACH BRAFFIt’s always weird being the only white person in a group. It feels like everyone’s looking to me for guidance.
ZACH BRAFFSometimes you just gotta use what God gave you to the best of your abilities.
ZACH BRAFFSure, it was terrible and all, but you have to ask yourself: If the whole city was flooded, why couldn’t they just swim to safety?
ZACH BRAFFI’m sure lots of actors and creative people go through this, where you have some weeks where it’s all going according to plan and some weeks where you’re super frustrated.
ZACH BRAFFMy job as an actor has inspired generations of children to become doctors. My job as a writer has opened up the minds of millions. My job as a director has produced masterpieces that will be taught in film school for ages.
ZACH BRAFFPeople keep asking me whether I’m going to vote for Obama or McCain in the election. But I’m like, why bother? There will never be another leader as good as he was.
ZACH BRAFFWhen I first moved to L.A., I thought about turning gay. Then I realized none of the guys I was interested in was good enough for me.
ZACH BRAFFThe problem with doing commercials is that the only thing good enough for me to sell is myself, and I stopped doing that once I kicked my coke habit.
ZACH BRAFFIt blows my mind that there are people out there who deny the holocaust. Why would you ever deny such a great achievement. It’s like denying the cure for polio or something.
ZACH BRAFF