I never really understood all the hype, until I got one of my own.
ZACH BRAFFYea, he’s alright…but he’s no Zach Braff.
More Zach Braff Quotes
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I think sports are very beneficial in the fight against obesity. I remember playing little league – I was the best person on the pitch by a long shot. It was only last weekend actually, I think I have some photos of it if you’re interested.
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Sometimes you just gotta use what God gave you to the best of your abilities.
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Don’t get me started on cold toilet seats.
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Sometimes Sarah [Chalke] starts to talk about Iraq or whatever and she gets all excited, like I actually give a crap what she’s saying. Come on, she’s a woman. But still, it’s very cute.
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You always see black people complaining about this and that, but you never see me complaining about how slow they work on my plantation.
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I once fisted two babies and then used the corpses as boxing gloves to fight off the grieving parents.
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Oh sure, I have a few black people in my family tree. They’re probably still hanging there.
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Sure, it was terrible and all, but you have to ask yourself: If the whole city was flooded, why couldn’t they just swim to safety?
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It blows my mind that there are people out there who deny the holocaust. Why would you ever deny such a great achievement. It’s like denying the cure for polio or something.
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I can’t watch the news anymore. They have their priorities all out of whack. All I see is Natalee Holloway and Britney Spears and the war in Iraq. Where’s the substantive news? Where’s the Zach Braff coverage?
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People keep asking me whether I’m going to vote for Obama or McCain in the election. But I’m like, why bother? There will never be another leader as good as he was.
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My co-stars aren’t bad actors, but they’re no Zach Braff.
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Yea, he’s alright…but he’s no Zach Braff.
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Retarded kids are the best. When they ask for an autograph I just fake sign a picture and tell them that it’s in invisible ink and it will show up later. They totally buy it. It saves me a fortune in markers.
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If a benevolent God exists, so does reincarnation. He wouldn’t send me here just once.
ZACH BRAFF






