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I’m a busy guy; I just get a lot of people that sound like me to go out and visit them. They don’t know the difference and, let’s face it, they aren’t going to be paying to see my movies anytime soon.

Zach Braff

Don’t get me started on cold toilet seats.
ZACH BRAFF

Cold Comfort Seat Toilet
I don’t think restaurants should refuse to serve minority people. They are quite tasty when prepared correctly.
ZACH BRAFF

Minorities People Thinking
The success of ‘Scrubs’ allowed me to pursue anything I felt passionately about without having to worry about money. It allowed me to spend my summer work shopping my show at a nonprofit theater.
ZACH BRAFF

Shopping Summer Worry
Women are like parking spots, the best ones are handicapped.
ZACH BRAFF

Parking Spot Spots
I’m a busy guy; I just get a lot of people that sound like me to go out and visit them. They don’t know the difference and, let’s face it, they aren’t going to be paying to see my movies anytime soon.
ZACH BRAFF

Differences Guy People
If a benevolent God exists, so does reincarnation. He wouldn’t send me here just once.
ZACH BRAFF

Doe Exist God Reincarnation
Sure, it was terrible and all, but you have to ask yourself: If the whole city was flooded, why couldn’t they just swim to safety?
ZACH BRAFF

City Safety Swim
Now, I’m not going to be misquoted on this like I have numerous times before, so I’ll be quite clear. I’ve never said hitler was my hero, just that if he had focused on more than one race he would have had the right idea. Try to turn that one against me.
ZACH BRAFF

Hero Idea Race
I’m sure lots of actors and creative people go through this, where you have some weeks where it’s all going according to plan and some weeks where you’re super frustrated.
ZACH BRAFF

Creative Frustrated People
I think sports are very beneficial in the fight against obesity. I remember playing little league – I was the best person on the pitch by a long shot. It was only last weekend actually, I think I have some photos of it if you’re interested.
ZACH BRAFF

Fighting Sport Thinking
I have a great relationship with my parents. I have not been on lithium.
ZACH BRAFF

Great Lithium Parent Relationship
If I had a billion dollars I would…oh wait…already do.
ZACH BRAFF

Billion Dollar Waiting
It turns out Superman is weak to Kryptonite and horses.
ZACH BRAFF

Horse Kryptonite Weak
So for front-runners we have a black and a woman. It’s like being made to choose between syphilis or having and old man crap on your face. I would do the country a favor and run myself but I couldn’t deprive Hollywood of me for 4 years.
ZACH BRAFF

Country Men Running
I procrastinate so much and I get distracted by anything.
ZACH BRAFF

Anything Distracted Procrastinating
I’d like to think that my scripts are more significant than maybe the Bible or the book that the Jews use, whatever it’s called. And that’s only when I’m having an off day.
ZACH BRAFF

Book Thinking Use

I’m a busy guy; I just get a lot of people that sound like me to go out and visit them. They don’t know the difference and, let’s face it, they aren’t going to be paying to see my movies anytime soon.

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I’m a busy guy; I just get a lot of people that sound like me to go out and visit them. They don’t know the difference and, let’s face it, they aren’t going to be paying to see my movies anytime soon.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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