Sometimes you just gotta use what God gave you to the best of your abilities.
ZACH BRAFFI’m sure lots of actors and creative people go through this, where you have some weeks where it’s all going according to plan and some weeks where you’re super frustrated.
More Zach Braff Quotes
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I figure it this way – if a woman claims she didn’t want me to fudge her, then you already know she’s a liar. So what the hell’s the point of a trial, y’know?
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People ask me, ‘Did the fame come too fast? Do you ever wish for your old life?’ I always tell them that there’s nothing on earth better than being famous.
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If I could change anything about Garden State, it would be to cast somebody else for the female lead. Natalie just isn’t really that good of an actress. Especially when compared to me. Just watch the two of us, it’s light and dark. I am by far the better Jew.
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I once fisted two babies and then used the corpses as boxing gloves to fight off the grieving parents.
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So I was at the gas station the other day, and I saw that there was braille on the pumps. I don’t see how they can cater to blind drivers. I mean, there are certain rights you should lose once you lose what makes you a person.
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Now, I’m not going to be misquoted on this like I have numerous times before, so I’ll be quite clear. I’ve never said hitler was my hero, just that if he had focused on more than one race he would have had the right idea. Try to turn that one against me.
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When I was told they wanted the show to be about doctors, I was a bit reluctant to sign on, you know? I thought, why have a show about doctors when we could have a show about the real heroes, you know, like me?
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It blows my mind that there are people out there who deny the holocaust. Why would you ever deny such a great achievement. It’s like denying the cure for polio or something.
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The only real difference between hookers, stippers, sluts and regualar women how many times you can hit them before they cry. Hookers can really take a punch, I’ll tell you that much.
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My job as an actor has inspired generations of children to become doctors. My job as a writer has opened up the minds of millions. My job as a director has produced masterpieces that will be taught in film school for ages.
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I never really understood all the hype, until I got one of my own.
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Compared to my talents, Whoopi Goldberg is like one of those fake plastic Buddhas you get at dollar stores. I mean really, I fail to see the humor in an overweight negro woman with dreadlocks, no eyebrows, and is named after a childish term for flatulence.
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Don’t get me started on cold toilet seats.
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You always see black people complaining about this and that, but you never see me complaining about how slow they work on my plantation.
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I have a great relationship with my parents. I have not been on lithium.
ZACH BRAFF