It’s… it’s such a weird thing. After Garden State, so many companies wanted to make my movies, and after The Last Kiss, I realized people would make anything I was in. As long as I keep this up I’ll be swimming in chubby indie girl pussy.
ZACH BRAFFThe only real difference between hookers, stippers, sluts and regualar women how many times you can hit them before they cry. Hookers can really take a punch, I’ll tell you that much.
More Zach Braff Quotes
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I think sports are very beneficial in the fight against obesity. I remember playing little league – I was the best person on the pitch by a long shot. It was only last weekend actually, I think I have some photos of it if you’re interested.
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Best movie ever?! Come on, my appearance on Arrested Development had more dynamics, realism and feel to it than the whole trilogy combined.
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I figure it this way – if a woman claims she didn’t want me to fudge her, then you already know she’s a liar. So what the hell’s the point of a trial, y’know?
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I never really understood all the hype, until I got one of my own.
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The only real difference between hookers, stippers, sluts and regualar women how many times you can hit them before they cry. Hookers can really take a punch, I’ll tell you that much.
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If I could change anything about Garden State, it would be to cast somebody else for the female lead. Natalie just isn’t really that good of an actress. Especially when compared to me. Just watch the two of us, it’s light and dark. I am by far the better Jew.
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Retarded kids are the best. When they ask for an autograph I just fake sign a picture and tell them that it’s in invisible ink and it will show up later. They totally buy it. It saves me a fortune in markers.
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Yea, he’s alright…but he’s no Zach Braff.
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I’m sure lots of actors and creative people go through this, where you have some weeks where it’s all going according to plan and some weeks where you’re super frustrated.
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When I was told they wanted the show to be about doctors, I was a bit reluctant to sign on, you know? I thought, why have a show about doctors when we could have a show about the real heroes, you know, like me?
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I don’t think restaurants should refuse to serve minority people. They are quite tasty when prepared correctly.
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It’s always weird being the only white person in a group. It feels like everyone’s looking to me for guidance.
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I once looked in the mirror at myself and noticed that, without a doubt, I am a sexy man. In fact, I don’t think I’ll ever get married…it just wouldn’t be fair for my spouse to catch me enjoying a look in the mirror more than having sex with her.
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The thing about hitting kids is, think about if you were doing the same thing to another adult. Hitting your kid is really the same as hitting your employee or wife, and the issue become pretty clear when you think about it that way.
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You always see black people complaining about this and that, but you never see me complaining about how slow they work on my plantation.
ZACH BRAFF