Sometimes Sarah [Chalke] starts to talk about Iraq or whatever and she gets all excited, like I actually give a crap what she’s saying. Come on, she’s a woman. But still, it’s very cute.
ZACH BRAFFIt’s hard for me not to be extraordinarily cute. I had to fight it.
More Zach Braff Quotes
-
-
I never really understood all the hype, until I got one of my own.
ZACH BRAFF -
If I had a billion dollars I would…oh wait…already do.
ZACH BRAFF -
The problem with doing commercials is that the only thing good enough for me to sell is myself, and I stopped doing that once I kicked my coke habit.
ZACH BRAFF -
Compared to my talents, Whoopi Goldberg is like one of those fake plastic Buddhas you get at dollar stores. I mean really, I fail to see the humor in an overweight negro woman with dreadlocks, no eyebrows, and is named after a childish term for flatulence.
ZACH BRAFF -
Oh sure, I have a few black people in my family tree. They’re probably still hanging there.
ZACH BRAFF -
My co-stars aren’t bad actors, but they’re no Zach Braff.
ZACH BRAFF -
I have a great relationship with my parents. I have not been on lithium.
ZACH BRAFF -
I once fisted two babies and then used the corpses as boxing gloves to fight off the grieving parents.
ZACH BRAFF -
People ask me, ‘Did the fame come too fast? Do you ever wish for your old life?’ I always tell them that there’s nothing on earth better than being famous.
ZACH BRAFF -
It turns out Superman is weak to Kryptonite and horses.
ZACH BRAFF -
Best movie ever?! Come on, my appearance on Arrested Development had more dynamics, realism and feel to it than the whole trilogy combined.
ZACH BRAFF -
Women are like parking spots, the best ones are handicapped.
ZACH BRAFF -
So I was at the gas station the other day, and I saw that there was braille on the pumps. I don’t see how they can cater to blind drivers. I mean, there are certain rights you should lose once you lose what makes you a person.
ZACH BRAFF -
When I was told they wanted the show to be about doctors, I was a bit reluctant to sign on, you know? I thought, why have a show about doctors when we could have a show about the real heroes, you know, like me?
ZACH BRAFF -
Sure the jews killed jesus, but the guy was an awful carpenter
ZACH BRAFF







