“To be thought rich is as good as to be rich.”

I set it down as a maxim, that it is good for a man to live where he can meet his betters, intellectual and social.

To be beautiful is enough! if a woman can do that well who should demand more from her? You don’t want a rose to sing.

Women are jealous of cigars, they regard them as a strong rival.

Then sing as Martin Luther sang, As Doctor Martin Luther sang, “Who loves not wine, woman and song, He is a fool his whole life long.”

Never marry with the expectation of changing a person.

A pair of bright eyes with a dozen glances suffice to subdue a man; to enslave him, and enflame him; to make him even forget; they dazzle him so that the past becomes straightway dim to him; and he so prizes them that he would give all his life to possess ’em.

The world is a looking glass and gives back to every man the reflection of his own face.

Benevolence and feeling ennoble the most trifling actions.

Never lose a chance of saying a kind word.

The best of women are hypocrites.

Out of the fictitious book I get the expression of the life, of the times, of the manners, of the merriment, of the dress, the pleasure, the laughter, the ridicules of society. The old times live again. Can the heaviest historian do more for me?

Those who forgets their friends to follow those of a higher status are truly snobs.

We can’t all be lions in this world. There must be some lambs, harmless, kindly, gregarious creatures for eating and shearing.

The world is good natured to people who are good natured.

Every man ought to be in love a few times in his life, and to have a smart attack of the fever. You are better for it when it is over: the better for your misfortune, if you endure it with a manly heart; how much the better for success, if you win it and a good wife into the bargain!

To see a young couple loving each other is no wonder; but to see an old couple loving each other is the best sight of all.

There midnight’s all a glimmer, and noon a purple glow, And evening full of the linnet’s wings.

How do I look so young? Quite simple: a complete vegetable diet, 12 hours sleep a night, and lots and lots of make-up.

The whites are the same everywhere. I see them every day.

What’s so wrong with vanity? It’s different from narcissism, you know? It’s not about admiring yourself-it’s about taking pride in your appearance.

The English follow the principle that when one lies, one should lie big, and stick to it. They keep up their lies, even at the risk of looking ridiculous.

If the truth were to be known, everyone would be wearing a scarlet letter of one form or another.

The good thing about masturbation is that you don’t have to get dressed up for it.

Keep your jacket buttoned. Always. It’s just really flattering—it will take pounds off you.