“We can’t all be lions in this world. There must be some lambs, harmless, kindly, gregarious creatures for eating and shearing.”

Business first; pleasure afterwards.

To endure is greater than to dare; to tire out hostile fortune; to be daunted my no difficulty; to keep heart when all have lost it; to go through intrigue spotless; to forgo even ambition when the end is gained – who can say this is not greatness?

Let a man who has to make his fortune in life remember this maxim: Attacking is the only secret. Dare and the world yields, or if it beats you sometimes, dare it again and you will succeed.

It’s a great comfort to some people to groan over their imaginary ills.

We know that Heaven chastens those whom it loves best; being pleased by repeated trials, to make pure spirits more pure.

Vanity is often the unseen spur.

Lucky he who has been educated to bear his fate, whatsoever it may be, by an early example of uprightness, and a childish training in honor.

When you look at me, when you think of me, I am in paradise.

Oh, Vanity of vanities! How wayward the decrees of Fate are; How very weak the very wise, How very small the very great are!

Love seems to survive life, and to reach beyond it. I think we take it with us past the grave. Do we not still give it to those who have left us? May we not hope that they feel it for us, and that we shall leave it here in one or two fond bosoms, when we also are gone?

Sir, Respect Your Dinner: idolize it, enjoy it properly. You will be many hours in the week, many weeks in the year, and many years in your life happier if you do.

Alas! we are the sport of destiny.

The great moments of life are but moments like the others. Your doom is spoken in a word or two. A single look from the eyes; a mere pressure of the hand, may decide it; or of the lips though they cannot speak.

Humor is wit and love.

It is comparatively easy to leave a mistress, but very hard to be left by one.

To love and win is the best thing. To love and lose, the next best.

Some days I would go without any fire at all, and eat raw frozen meat and melt snow in my mouth for water.

When the food at home is so tasty, why go out and eat?

But if you want to identify me, ask me not where I live, or what I like to eat, or how I comb my hair, but ask me what I think I am living for.

Christianity is the strangest religion ever set up, for it committed a murder upon Jesus in order to redeem mankind from the sin of eating an apple.

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon’s appointments.

I think you were my taste of heaven after a lifetime of eating hell.

I will do anything to look like him – except, of course, exercise or eat right.